"I'm scared of flying while fat," I told my friends when I was planning a trip from Pittsburgh to Denver in October of 2016. It was to be my first time on a plane, and I had heard all about Kevin Smith's problems with Southwest Airlines. There is the obvious fear of my ample hips spreading into the seat next to me, and some poor unsuspecting fellow passenger being assaulted by my fat spilling onto them. The fear of being told to buy a second seat, that I probably couldn't comfortably afford was real. Should I buy a second seat to begin with? I did decide to spring for the slightly larger seats in the front on a Frontier Airlines flight.
The anxiety leading up to the trip was palpable. I scoured the internet for stories about people's experiences of flying while fat. People who felt as if they had been crammed into a sardine can, pictures of squished thighs and disgusted and disgruntled fellow passengers, offended by the amount of space their fat fellow passengers took up. The shame people felt taking up that space. I know I'm always aware of the space I take up. If it's bumping into someone in a grocery store or sitting alone on the bus, (because no one wants to sit with a fat person), the space I occupy is always on my mind. I was terrified of how amplified that would be on a plane, and for hours on end at that. This wasn't a 10 minute bus ride to the other side of town.
I read about people who purchased their own seat belt extenders so that they didn't have to feel mortified asking for one from the flight attendant. I read stories about people who forgot to ask for an extender and when they got the attention of the attendent, the attendant sent it down the aisle to them through a string of 10 different passengers just passing it down. That is my idea of hell. Then I read reviews of these extenders you could buy and how some airlines do not allow you to use them, there were mixed reviews as to which airlines allowed them and which didn't. So, I decided to just remember to ask the attendant for one as soon as I stepped foot on the plane.
Then, the day came where I would indeed, be flying while fat. I was fully prepared for complete and total uncomfortable misery. Waiting to board was nerve wracking as stories of people who were told at the gate that they would have to purchase another ticket flooded my mind. I wore spanx that day, and the most 'flattering' yet comfortable outfit I could. I was flying with a friend, she was in the middle seat and I was in the aisle seat (which is the only seat I will ever take.) so it was slightly less nerve wracking knowing that a friend occupied the seat next to me. I stood in line, waiting to board, repeating a mantra of "ask for an extender" before I got to the front of the plane. "I might need an extender," I finally said to the flight attendant. She smiled and dug around for a minute in the cabin and then handed it to me. Turns out I did need it, but just barely. Luckily my friend in the middle seat is thin, so we weren't terribly cramped.
In the end, buying the slightly larger seat and with having the extender, I was fine. It wasn't horribly uncomfortable and I wasn't told I was too fat to fly which was a fear I had lurking in the back of my mind. As if they were just going to shame me off the plane. This is probably because I once had to take the only remaining seat on a greyhound next to another fat woman, my size, who screamed at me that I couldn't sit with her because we were both too fat to sit together. I was so ashamed I got off the bus and had a family member drive me the hour home.
I am going back to Denver and I'm hoping that by the time our trip rolls around in April, I will at the very least not need the extender That my friends is how you count life's little accomplishments when you occupy a fat body. We call them "Non-Scale Victories" Didn't need an extender on the plane this time? Huzzah! Someone shared a seat with me on the bus? Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Sure, it seems like nothing to most people, but to me it would be an accomplishment worth celebrating. I look forward to the day I can celebrate such little things again.
One thing strikes me as very sad in all of this, and that's that I put my life on hold, and never flew until I was 36 years old, due, at least in part, to this fear of being too fat to fly. That I would be mortified by my size for the entire flight. I'm glad I stopped putting my life on hold until I lost weight, because even though it was very stressful leading up to the flight, in the end, it was really nothing to put your life on hold over. I won't make that mistake again, because life won't wait.
The anxiety leading up to the trip was palpable. I scoured the internet for stories about people's experiences of flying while fat. People who felt as if they had been crammed into a sardine can, pictures of squished thighs and disgusted and disgruntled fellow passengers, offended by the amount of space their fat fellow passengers took up. The shame people felt taking up that space. I know I'm always aware of the space I take up. If it's bumping into someone in a grocery store or sitting alone on the bus, (because no one wants to sit with a fat person), the space I occupy is always on my mind. I was terrified of how amplified that would be on a plane, and for hours on end at that. This wasn't a 10 minute bus ride to the other side of town.
I read about people who purchased their own seat belt extenders so that they didn't have to feel mortified asking for one from the flight attendant. I read stories about people who forgot to ask for an extender and when they got the attention of the attendent, the attendant sent it down the aisle to them through a string of 10 different passengers just passing it down. That is my idea of hell. Then I read reviews of these extenders you could buy and how some airlines do not allow you to use them, there were mixed reviews as to which airlines allowed them and which didn't. So, I decided to just remember to ask the attendant for one as soon as I stepped foot on the plane.
Then, the day came where I would indeed, be flying while fat. I was fully prepared for complete and total uncomfortable misery. Waiting to board was nerve wracking as stories of people who were told at the gate that they would have to purchase another ticket flooded my mind. I wore spanx that day, and the most 'flattering' yet comfortable outfit I could. I was flying with a friend, she was in the middle seat and I was in the aisle seat (which is the only seat I will ever take.) so it was slightly less nerve wracking knowing that a friend occupied the seat next to me. I stood in line, waiting to board, repeating a mantra of "ask for an extender" before I got to the front of the plane. "I might need an extender," I finally said to the flight attendant. She smiled and dug around for a minute in the cabin and then handed it to me. Turns out I did need it, but just barely. Luckily my friend in the middle seat is thin, so we weren't terribly cramped.
In the end, buying the slightly larger seat and with having the extender, I was fine. It wasn't horribly uncomfortable and I wasn't told I was too fat to fly which was a fear I had lurking in the back of my mind. As if they were just going to shame me off the plane. This is probably because I once had to take the only remaining seat on a greyhound next to another fat woman, my size, who screamed at me that I couldn't sit with her because we were both too fat to sit together. I was so ashamed I got off the bus and had a family member drive me the hour home.
I am going back to Denver and I'm hoping that by the time our trip rolls around in April, I will at the very least not need the extender That my friends is how you count life's little accomplishments when you occupy a fat body. We call them "Non-Scale Victories" Didn't need an extender on the plane this time? Huzzah! Someone shared a seat with me on the bus? Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Sure, it seems like nothing to most people, but to me it would be an accomplishment worth celebrating. I look forward to the day I can celebrate such little things again.
One thing strikes me as very sad in all of this, and that's that I put my life on hold, and never flew until I was 36 years old, due, at least in part, to this fear of being too fat to fly. That I would be mortified by my size for the entire flight. I'm glad I stopped putting my life on hold until I lost weight, because even though it was very stressful leading up to the flight, in the end, it was really nothing to put your life on hold over. I won't make that mistake again, because life won't wait.
I have had to ask for seat belt extenders multiple times, my only negative experience flying has been feeling like I am spilling over into other people's seats.
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