Beyond Willpower

So, I wanted to start c25k but my doc is worried about my joints and said that she would prefer if I waited until I'd lost a little more weight so as not to cause more stress on my joints than necessary. I recently got a recumbent bike.  This is the one I got: So, to prevent stress on my joints, but to help build my stamina and endurance for when I am able to start c25k (hopefully June 19th, that's when my second four month goal time allotment ends) I'm doing it on my bike. I mean it's really just interval training, and it will prepare me for 'the real thing' in June. I do a speed of about 10-12 on the bike on low resistance for the 'walking' portion, and then I up it to 15-16 for the "running" portion.  I'm pretty excited about this. Tomorrow is week 1, "run" 2. Tonight I did 10 miles on the bike at a consistent speed of about 11-12 and I feel great. :) I never trust what the machines say for 'calories burned' but...

So, I started physical therapy earlier this week and although my pain is worse this week than last, I'm dealing with it a little better, I'm a bit more hopeful. Last week in comparison I had almost no pain, so it's not that bad this week, mostly waking with sore shoulders. Anyhow, since I'm feeling better, I'm exercising more. I had insane fitness goals for myself for this month. They aren't going to happen. Not yet. But, I have been doing 3 or more days of 30 mins of cardio + 1 day of strength/toning for 15-20 mins. I'm getting there. This is in my very near future: (by very near I mean I'm ordering it asap! Hopefully today or tomorrow!) I know that improving my endurance and fitness will help my pain. I'm hoping since the weather is finally getting warmer, that I can increase it all through spring, summer and fall and by next winter I can deal with the pain inflicted by the weather far better than I did this year. Which was, to be fair, f...

So I went shopping the other day. I had posted those pics in this blog post  with my before and current pics. I had gone to buy some new tank tops and also picked up that cute lavender type top. I bought two size 3x tank tops along with other stuff. I tried them on before buying them. I came home and was pretty happy with them, put them away and didn't think much about it until later. A day or so goes by and I put one on to wear around in the house with my jammie pants. Suddenly I realize that this shirt is way too big. Joey mentioned it as well, like, why did you buy new clothes that are too big? Wasn't the point that all your old clothes were too big? What is it that I see? Have any of you done this? I was just so confused, what was it that I saw when I looked in the mirror in the dressing room? What made me think those tanks fit me? I could have easily gotten a 2x. I even washed and dried them this week, nope, still too big. I think maybe I can't see myself being ...

Wow. I have not been feeling well. All sorts of health issues were happening all at once. Hypomania, infected tooth, severe tummy troubles caused by my fibro pain meds, a fibro flare and severe insomnia. Through it all though I managed to not gain! Even though my satiety signals, once my mood destabilized, were ENTIRELY turned off. So strange, I googled, it seems to be a thing with brain chemicals and blah blah. So when I first noticed it and googled it, and was aware, I calmed down and dealt with the hunger, knowing it would pass once I got things under control. I'm feeling about 90% better. I think by tomorrow I'll be all better. I have FOUR doc appts this week anyhow. blah. Well, my weight has gone from 299 to 250 lbs . I am ONE measly lb away from a 50 lb loss, but, I had bought some new clothes (from target's plus section, I have not been able to fit in even their plus stuff before!) I'm generally currently a 2-3X, at target I was a 3-4X, which is fine, at le...

This got really long, I hope you guys can get through it! I had written this introductory blog about my weight loss history, my current journey, where I hope to be in the future, and my current accomplishments. One of my current accomplishments is that it is now February 5th and I have not binged since October 14th 2010. Someone asked how I managed to do that. Food addict, compulsive overeater, binge eater, yeah, I'm all of those. I have no doubt that this will always and forever be something I struggle with. I was reassured of that fact this week. I did not do any binging, although I can't say I wouldn't have had I had  more food at my disposal. At the end of the day I had most of my days calories left at dinner so since I had so many, and so did my bf, I asked if he wanted to go to mad mex. (local cal-mex restaurant). I'm going to lay out just what led to me being in a 'binge' frame of mind. I had eaten too little during the day and let myself get wa...

So, I was trying to get into this study that focuses on diet and exercise that they are doing here in Pittsburgh. Anyhow, they did a bunch of blood test... I got my results!  *and this is what my face looks like right now!* They aren't too bad! I wish they were SLIGHTLY better...but...even though I was veggie for over a year, I was just recently vegan, so hopefully when they redo the test results in 6 months some values will be better.   These are fasting results: My sugar was 111, a little high, it needs to be between 70-99, but down 13 points from it's high. BUT: My A1c was only 5.5! Which is good! (three month reading of sugar) My cholesterol was slightly high at 209, needs to be below 200, and my HDL (good cholesterol) was a little low at 44. Needs to be 59+. She said exercise would help.  Triglycerides were good at 110. My two of my thyroid readings were good, one was slightly high, the T4, at 12.6. Should be between 5-12. She said it's not signific...