Beyond Willpower

So, I just wanted to let you guys know I have been talking to the woman who runs  www.yummyplants.com  and I'm going to write an article for her site. It was suggested I write about the health benefits I've experienced since switching to a plant based diet and different things about my experiences with obesity, maybe touch on childhood obesity. It will be an article style, not blog, but I just wanted to let everyone know to check out her site, it's really great and it's for anyone, not just vegans, even if you are just looking to add more healthy fruits/veggies to your diet, it's full of restaurant reviews and recipes and also has a forum so be sure to check it out. I have another job interview on Wednesday. I'm excited, I think I would do great at this place and I feel really confident.  I'll let you all know if I hear back. Today I went looking to buy a new outfit for the interview. Sadly I've decided I'm not a huge fan of what I bought. I was ...

So, I wanted to start c25k but my doc is worried about my joints and said that she would prefer if I waited until I'd lost a little more weight so as not to cause more stress on my joints than necessary. I recently got a recumbent bike.  This is the one I got: So, to prevent stress on my joints, but to help build my stamina and endurance for when I am able to start c25k (hopefully June 19th, that's when my second four month goal time allotment ends) I'm doing it on my bike. I mean it's really just interval training, and it will prepare me for 'the real thing' in June. I do a speed of about 10-12 on the bike on low resistance for the 'walking' portion, and then I up it to 15-16 for the "running" portion.  I'm pretty excited about this. Tomorrow is week 1, "run" 2. Tonight I did 10 miles on the bike at a consistent speed of about 11-12 and I feel great. :) I never trust what the machines say for 'calories burned' but...

"We may think there is willpower involved, but more likely...change is due to want power. Wanting the new addiction more than the old one. Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now." -- George Sheehan I've always had an addictive personality, I overdo EVERYTHING, so it's good that I stayed away from drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and all that throughout my life.  I've stayed away from most negative things that are harmful to your health and mental well being...except food in excess.  I am a food addict I hear a lot of my friends tell me that they don't want to get 'all obsessed with dieting' and they want to live their lives like a normal healthy person. I get that, I do. Wouldn't it be fabulous? Unfortunately, I not only have no desire for such 'normalcy', I also think I would be incapable of it. Like an Addict who goes to AA/NA meetings and becomes obsessed/addicted to recovery or religion, I have become obsessed...

 I just wanted to make a short post to say that I've now lost 10 points off my bmi. I was a 48 and now I"m a 38. I'm super excited!!!!:  before and during! Also, I'm growing my hair out to about chin length. Have been pullingthe front back in clippys until I can get it shaped up nicer. :D My new recumbent exercise bike came today! :D

So, I was reading a really interesting blog today over at  Escape from Obesity . She was asking what it is that keeps people going even when they aren't motivated. Anyhow, this was my reply, I thought I would share it here: -- I got to the point in my life where I realized that I want to be healthy more than I want to abuse myself with food. When I have slower losses, or am having a TOM craving, I just have to keep in mind that I've undone the progress I've made so many times over the years, and I am just at a place where I'm sick of it and not willing to let myself do that again.  Therapy has helped a lot. Blogging helps, I blog every day on spark, for accountability alone, and then I keep my beyondwillpower blog for the 'big things'.  When I ask myself what it is, it's just that I'm fed up. I'm 31 and still morbidly obese. This will only get more difficult the older I get. My real dad died at 47 from diabetes complications and he pretty much...

So, I feel like I have two blog posts in me today. I NEED to write one now, and one later, since they are on two different subjects. So today, I have drank all my water, I exercised for 30 mins, I didn't nap, I worked on my book, I have been on plan. Overall a great, healthy productive day. But mentally, it's been a challenge. I can't seem to get food off my mind. I exercised and then right after watched an episode of Heavy, and I was thinking about dinner being SO far away (probably only two hours from now.) the entire time and it's all I can think of right now. I'm not particularly hungry, I'm just feeling unhinged by food thoughts today and need to write it out. So today this is what I've had to eat so far: breakfast: 2 slices of half inch thick homemade gluten free cinnamon raisin bread with 1 serving of thinnly spread jam. Snack: salad with lots of veggies and a bit of dressing Lunch: Rotisserie style tofu soup with a little bit of rice an...

So, I started doing the 75% raw on Saturday, my weight loss was slowing, I was losing 1, maybe 2 lbs a week if I was lucky. I'm still big enough that for my size, that is good loss, but a little slow. Anyhow, I've lost 3 lbs in the last 3 days of exercising and doing a 75% raw diet. I need to have lost 10 lbs by march 19th if I want to be on track for my four month goal of losing 40 lbs in 4 months . I'm currently at 6 lbs lost. I still need to lose 4 more in the next 12 days. Not an impossible goal. Hopefully I'll have lost a total of 5 (2 more) before this Saturday while doing this mostly raw thing. I think doing this once a month is a fabulous idea! This was my lunch yesterday: GORGEOUS! Anyhow, today was a 6 hour day at work, around hour 5 I started to hurt, but an aleve helped, which leads me to believe that I have a bit of weight bearing pain unrelated to the fibro. The weather was nice though so not much in the way of fibro pain. I'm sure the exercis...

~*~*~This recipe is gluten free and vegan~*~*~ As are all my recipes I tend to shoot for 2 servings, but this very low cal dish makes enough for leftovers unless you are both VERY hungry! This recipe was inspired by the potato spinach curry in Appetite for Reduction (pg. 232). I think this is a little quicker and I hate potato chunks so it uses marinara instead of chopped tomatoes. I think that makes it creamier too. *NOTE* Also, this recipe is best if made ahead of time and eaten later/the next day. The flavors really have time to soak in that way. Or you could probably make it in a slow cooker, I don't have one but this is an assumption. EDITED TO ADD:  I forgot, it's a bit more bitter than I like. I like to add a tiny bit of sweetener, this should just be to taste and the sweetener of your choice. Stuff you will need: to the drawing board! Prep directions: First, put 2.5 cups water with a veggie base/or use veggie broth, in a medium pot. While waiting for the wat...

So I went shopping the other day. I had posted those pics in this blog post  with my before and current pics. I had gone to buy some new tank tops and also picked up that cute lavender type top. I bought two size 3x tank tops along with other stuff. I tried them on before buying them. I came home and was pretty happy with them, put them away and didn't think much about it until later. A day or so goes by and I put one on to wear around in the house with my jammie pants. Suddenly I realize that this shirt is way too big. Joey mentioned it as well, like, why did you buy new clothes that are too big? Wasn't the point that all your old clothes were too big? What is it that I see? Have any of you done this? I was just so confused, what was it that I saw when I looked in the mirror in the dressing room? What made me think those tanks fit me? I could have easily gotten a 2x. I even washed and dried them this week, nope, still too big. I think maybe I can't see myself being ...

This got really long, I hope you guys can get through it! I had written this introductory blog about my weight loss history, my current journey, where I hope to be in the future, and my current accomplishments. One of my current accomplishments is that it is now February 5th and I have not binged since October 14th 2010. Someone asked how I managed to do that. Food addict, compulsive overeater, binge eater, yeah, I'm all of those. I have no doubt that this will always and forever be something I struggle with. I was reassured of that fact this week. I did not do any binging, although I can't say I wouldn't have had I had  more food at my disposal. At the end of the day I had most of my days calories left at dinner so since I had so many, and so did my bf, I asked if he wanted to go to mad mex. (local cal-mex restaurant). I'm going to lay out just what led to me being in a 'binge' frame of mind. I had eaten too little during the day and let myself get wa...

I've never been successful with weight loss. It's difficult to even try and imagine yourself a success at something that you've tried and failed so miserably at so many times in your life. It doesn't feel real. But, you've got to start somewhere. I'm keeping a list of my small successes and milestones. I figure the only way to get to feeling like I am a success at this, is to keep track and give myself a pat on the back for even the smallest success. They will all add up. 1.) Remain binge free for 30 days-- CHECK!   2.) Lose 20 lbs -- CHECK!   3.) Make exercise a part of my life -- CHECK!   4.) Stay 100% On Plan throughout Thanksgiving. -- CHECK!   5.) Get back down to the weight requirement so that I can use the elliptical (250 lbs) --   6.) Get back to my (2nd) shocking high weight, 275 lbs-- CHECK!   7.) Get back to my FIRST shocking high weight, 260 lbs! -- CHECK!   8.) Remain binge free for ANOTHER 30 days! -- CHECK! (60 days down!)   9.) ...