Beyond Willpower

So, as I've mentioned, I live in Pittsburgh, PA. We have a pinball arcade place here called Kickback pinball cafe. We've been meaning to get down there and today we finally did!  Luckily they had some food options that worked out for us. We both had a salad. mixed greens, nuts, seeds, goat cheese and a light truffle kind of dressing, it was so good!  We also had kale chips. That inspired me to come home and bust out the dehydrator and make kale chips of my own! I have made them before but they were kind of a failure. The first batch was too salty, the second batch had no flavor. This time I looked up a recipe for a cashew based vegan 'cheese' sauce, so as I type this they are dehydrating! This is a pic of our fridge after we got all of our veggies. Some things you see in there are green juices, almond milk, and all that green stuff on the top shelf of the fridge is Tupperware full of chopped veggies to make tossing them in a salad or munching on them throughout...

So last night I was reading through some of my old blogs. My very first blog post here, "Sometimes you have to fight a battle more than once to win it."  is really ringing true right now. Just a little reminder for myself, to keep me plugging along: Sometimes I think these 'reminders' are what have kept me from regaining! This is a battle isn't it? It's worth the fight though. Today I filled out my spark goal tracking calender and I tracked breakfast and lunch already, and I have about 555 cals left for dinner. I have a long day ahead, and I had another calf spasm last night so my legs hurt still, but I'm about to do some pt, and tonight I'm going to jump on the recumbent. I'm preparing, mentally more than anything, for Monday, when I start the Biggest Loser Challenge 19 with my sparkbuddies in white lighting. :) Good luck ladies! Anyhow, the challenge is 10 weeks, and I hope that I can report a nice loss back in the next few weeks after it...

Have you seen Julie & Julia? I'm currently in the middle of watching the movie Julie and Julia, my mom told me about it, I had no idea what it was about. I do adore it so far though. Speaking of my mom, I just want to say how excited I am that she is interested in my way of eating and I hope that these dietary changes help with some of her health issues as they have mine. I don't consider myself to be a preachy type of vegan, but I definitely love to give people information when they ask and my mom has been asking for a few months now. She just has all sorts of questions and her inquisitiveness is kind of cute to me. :) Also, I am a firm believer in he concept of leading with your fork. I love to cook for people and tomorrow my sister and I are going down home. I will have a lot to write about the cooking adventures we have Wednesday night. My sister is an amazing photographer and she will be taking pictures of the fabulous soy free, gluten free, vegan food! Keep a...

So tonight someone recommended I watch the documentary, Fat, sick and nearly dead . It's about a guy who weighs over 300 lbs with an auto immune disease and on loads of medication and how he goes about doing a 60 day fruits/veggies juice fast. I wanted to say just a bit and leave you with an extended trailer. It. Is. Inspiring.  The issues this guy had and how he was able to heal himself with food was just such a wild ride. I loved every second of it. Some of it was sad to me, the way he interviewed people and they seemed to care so very little for themselves, and by extension, their friends and family. When they said things like, "If I die at 55 oh well." and "I'm gonna go out happy." (aka, eating junk food.)  I just can't believe the lack of respect people have for the one life they are given. I think we as a culture are sick in more ways than just the physical aspect. I consider the culture to be depressed if we care so little about our lives th...

I wish I had some chinese 5 spice for this, but I need to find a gluten free one and haven't yet, so for now this is what you get!: This is definitely one of my fave meals right now and I know a couple people have asked for the recipe, so FINALLY, here it is, thanks for being patient! Ingredients: 3 oz extra firm tofu 1 thin slice of red onion, chopped half seeded jalapeno handful lettuce 2 corn tortilla shells 2 tbls bbq sauce (gf/vegan) 1 tbls water 1 tbls hot sauce (I used frank's but prefer chalula) 1 tbls low sodium gf soy sauce 2 tbls tofutti sour cream 1 tsp sesame oil 2 tbls salsa .5 tsp garlic powder (Not salt as pictured!) .5 tsp crushed red pepper 'dash' of granulated onion .5 tsp cumin .5 tsp chili powder .5 tbls daiya flavor of your choice. All I had was mozzarella, but I prefer pepperjack Dir ections: Slice the tofu into thin rectangular slices chop red onion, jalapeno, and lettuce heat pan on medium heat, ...

Some new challenges to overcome I've been doing less than stellar. I didn't lose this week, didn't gain, but didn't lose. Having too many of those weeks. While I was stalled for no real reason I could discern before, this week was all my fault. We haven't really had groceries, so eating out was happening quite a bit, even though it was relatively healthy, it's still most likely packed with sodium. I've also not been going to the gym as often as I should, honestly my pain has been flaring a bit and the fear of making it worse has kept me home.  I'm 226 lbs and I want nothing more than to hit 224, I know it's a dumb number, heh, but it'll be more than halfway out of this decade, which I am SO looking forward to. This week I plan to hit the gym today, Thursday and Saturday. I'm trying to pace myself, since going so overboard the week before last set me back with my fibromyalgia pretty badly.  I've decided to go back to physical therapy a...

Forks Over Knives  (skip to the last heading to read the review) So, as some of you know from my previous blog, Joey and I went to see Forks Over Knives yesterday in Cleveland. Here is the trailer: Check out the website for info on showtimes in your city. So we hopped on a megabus and rode up to Cleveland, our friend Jocelyn picked us up and was nice enough to show us around the city, I took tons of pics and did a little recap of our trip, you can read about it here  on mine and Joey's adventure blog ;) hehe. Warning: This movie could save your life = spot on! A Weight Loss Plateau  Well, as most of my regular readers know I've been stuck at the same weight for 3 weeks now, and I've been on plan and exercising and yet the scale won't budge. This movie and the book, Omnivore's Dilemma got me thinking about the biodiversity of my food choices.  Perhaps I'm holding on to my weight because when you are only eating 1300-1500 cals, and you are trying...

I read a post on a weight loss forum today. It was a woman asking for help because she tracked her calories for one day, went way over and then gave up. I've been there. I know that everyone thinks there is a magic bullet and they have just yet to find it, you can tell by the way their eyes glaze over when they ask how you lost weight and you tell them eating healthy and exercising. But that just isn't it, there is no magic bullet.  People have asked me, what was 'the moment', that aha moment, where I knew that I was going to stick with it this time. Honestly, I'm not sure.  There was a day where I said I'd watch my intake, like a million other days I said I'd watch what I'd eat over the years. The only thing that was really different, was that I had admitted I was a binge eater. I watched that very first episode of ruby and realized therapy was where it was at. When I started addressing the binge eating in therapy, when I joined online support gro...

So, my original goal was to lose 150 lbs. I have never been that small as an adult. I'm trying to figure out what I would look like there, and I have some friends who I recently found out were about 150-160 and I thought they were so small. They are similar height to me as well. I think 149 might just be too small for my personal preference as far as aesthetics go. I kind of like  being curvy, I'd like to be curvy and fit and I think I would just fall over dead if I went below a 38 DD, which I haven't been below since about 7th-8th grade. ha. ;) When I see this pic of myself @ 190 lbs... I just remember being SO happy with myself at that weight. At that time I wanted to lose 15 more lbs. I wasn't even active then, which I am now, I'm much healthier now, at 235 lbs than I was then, at 190 because of the irresponsible way that I lost it with a 'fad' diet and no exercise. The last time I was 175 lbs was in 7th grade I think. I was a size 14 and I think a 38 ...

In 2004 when I lost 70 lbs, (I had also started at 260 as opposed to 299), Right around the 199 mark I started to have a bit of an identity crisis. I didn't recognize who I saw in the mirror, and I would just stand and stare. I am now 235, and I'm feeling those feelings creep up on me, and I think by the time I get down to around 220 (I have a pic of myself from then that I LOVE), I think I'm going to start feeling that way full blown (even if it's 21 lbs earlier, I did start much higher this time.) I always kind of wonder, who will I be when I'm thinner? How will people describe me? Now I'm sure that people who are my friends probably refer to me as "The big girl with the bangs." or something like, "That girl with cartoonishly large boobs" if it's a guy. (Yes I have been described that way, ha.) but I won't always be that girl. I don't know who I'll be. That is just slightly scary at the moment. I'm sure once I hit 175 ...

So, over the past 5+ months I've been trying to make some positive healthy changes. I started: Drinking an acceptable amount of water, 64-96 oz a day Went vegan Increased my exercise substantially Increased my daily raw food intake Lowered my calories Added phsyical therapy to my daily activities I've started wanting to get a bit healthier, now that I've pretty much mastered everything above, except maybe exercise, with my pain that will take a few more weeks of physical therapy to keep me in the groove I'm in. Anyhow, I started reading articles on green tea and flax meal . I was reading about how adding 2 cups of green tea to your day can help prevent cancer. Also, that 4 cups a day can help reduce cholesterol, increase weight loss results and prevent type II diabetes. So I've added 2 cups in the morning and 2 cups when I get home from work. Luckily the caffeine is low (4 cups of green tea is equal to less than 1.5 cups of coffee). It's also a diuretic...

 I just wanted to make a short post to say that I've now lost 10 points off my bmi. I was a 48 and now I"m a 38. I'm super excited!!!!:  before and during! Also, I'm growing my hair out to about chin length. Have been pullingthe front back in clippys until I can get it shaped up nicer. :D My new recumbent exercise bike came today! :D

Okay, so this post is for anyone who is even vaguely interested in going vegetarian/vegan or even just decreasing their meat consumption. So I stumbled across a posting on facebook about  meatout 2011  and they include a list of bloggers who do posts to spread the word so I thought I'd get involved. Some info:  Meatout reflects national trends: Mainstream health advocacy organizations and the official government publication "Dietary Guidelines for Americans" tout plant-based foods. Over 30 million Americans have explored a meat-free diet. One in five teens thinks vegetarianism is "cool." National beef and veal consumption have dropped by 25 and 70%, respectively. Major manufacturers and retailers are marketing meat-free and dairy-free meals. Several national fast food chains are offering veggie burgers and several major baseball parks are selling veggie dogs. www.meatout.org I'd like to start by addressing ...

So, I was reading a really interesting blog today over at  Escape from Obesity . She was asking what it is that keeps people going even when they aren't motivated. Anyhow, this was my reply, I thought I would share it here: -- I got to the point in my life where I realized that I want to be healthy more than I want to abuse myself with food. When I have slower losses, or am having a TOM craving, I just have to keep in mind that I've undone the progress I've made so many times over the years, and I am just at a place where I'm sick of it and not willing to let myself do that again.  Therapy has helped a lot. Blogging helps, I blog every day on spark, for accountability alone, and then I keep my beyondwillpower blog for the 'big things'.  When I ask myself what it is, it's just that I'm fed up. I'm 31 and still morbidly obese. This will only get more difficult the older I get. My real dad died at 47 from diabetes complications and he pretty much...

So, I feel like I have two blog posts in me today. I NEED to write one now, and one later, since they are on two different subjects. So today, I have drank all my water, I exercised for 30 mins, I didn't nap, I worked on my book, I have been on plan. Overall a great, healthy productive day. But mentally, it's been a challenge. I can't seem to get food off my mind. I exercised and then right after watched an episode of Heavy, and I was thinking about dinner being SO far away (probably only two hours from now.) the entire time and it's all I can think of right now. I'm not particularly hungry, I'm just feeling unhinged by food thoughts today and need to write it out. So today this is what I've had to eat so far: breakfast: 2 slices of half inch thick homemade gluten free cinnamon raisin bread with 1 serving of thinnly spread jam. Snack: salad with lots of veggies and a bit of dressing Lunch: Rotisserie style tofu soup with a little bit of rice an...

~*~*~This recipe is gluten free and vegan~*~*~ As are all my recipes I tend to shoot for 2 servings, but this very low cal dish makes enough for leftovers unless you are both VERY hungry! This recipe was inspired by the potato spinach curry in Appetite for Reduction (pg. 232). I think this is a little quicker and I hate potato chunks so it uses marinara instead of chopped tomatoes. I think that makes it creamier too. *NOTE* Also, this recipe is best if made ahead of time and eaten later/the next day. The flavors really have time to soak in that way. Or you could probably make it in a slow cooker, I don't have one but this is an assumption. EDITED TO ADD:  I forgot, it's a bit more bitter than I like. I like to add a tiny bit of sweetener, this should just be to taste and the sweetener of your choice. Stuff you will need: to the drawing board! Prep directions: First, put 2.5 cups water with a veggie base/or use veggie broth, in a medium pot. While waiting for the wat...