Beyond Willpower

Our wedding pictures are the first thing you see when you walk into our home.  Joey and I have been together for over 22 years. We've both gained and lost a lot of weight over the course of our relationship. Then we regained, and re-lost, you know how it goes. We got married on our 19 year anniversary, which is in March.  We had decided to get married just four months prior. So after what our friends teased was a 'brief 19 year courtship", we decided to just go ahead and do it. I know there are a million blogs and articles about losing weight for your wedding. This is not one of them. I had four months to lose weight. I don't really even remember what was going on, but I had NO desire to diet or attempt to lose weight and so I just...didn't. Joey lost a bit of weight so he could wear that fancy vest. I appreciate the effort, he looked handsome in it. :) We thought we would never get married. We didn't see the point, we kind of still don't, and luck...

 I just wanted to make a short post to say that I've now lost 10 points off my bmi. I was a 48 and now I"m a 38. I'm super excited!!!!:  before and during! Also, I'm growing my hair out to about chin length. Have been pullingthe front back in clippys until I can get it shaped up nicer. :D My new recumbent exercise bike came today! :D

So, today I took this pic of myself when I was leaving for work. Not sure why, I just was in a really great mood and wanted to capture it somehow I guess? 1/19/2011: Anyhow, I posted it on facebook and a few people commented that I looked like I had lost weight. That was nice, but I ended up going into my pics and looked at older ones, like this: Probably sometime in 2008 -- 299 lbs most likely. Not sure what I was thinking with the hair: I remember when I lost 40 lbs in 2009, I had posted a new pic one day and someone commented and said, "When are you going to post your weight loss pics?"  At that point there was 40 lbs less of me in the current picture ! I dunno, it's just devastating to work so hard and for people to not notice at all. I look at these pics here and I see a difference. I guess in the end that is all that matters. Who I see when I look in the mirror. I'm sick of waking up and feeling great about how I look until I see a 1-2 lb upwards fluctu...

I've decided to finally make an 'official' vision collage. My fridge has had quotes and pics and such on it for weight loss motivation for just over a year. But I was slacking. I'm gonna put stuff like motivational quotes, pictures of myself from now, before, and in 2004 when I was about 70 lbs thinner, little happy sayings and smiley faces. It'll be a good time. I'm gonna put it on my cork board. I'll do the top half maybe? Or the side? And use it more like a timeline. Maybe fill it all up and change it around as I lose and other things become important? I don't know. I just know I feel like this will be something important for me. My cork board currently has all this stuff on it: It's mostly really old stuff I'll be packing away in my memory box, that stuff is old me, it's time for new me. :)

Breakfast was light today. Ha. Im hoping to get bf to go to lunch and a movie with me. I want p.f chang's Buddha's feast! Veggies, rice, and tofu. Mmmmmm :) this post is mostly me just seeing if the blogger app for my phone works. ;)