Beyond Willpower

I have lost 6 lbs this week. I may have actually lost more than 3 last week, and less than 6 this week, but my scale needed the batteries changed, so overall since the 1st of the month, regardless of how or when it happened, I have lost 9 lbs. The only thing I didn't stick with 100% was the keeping eating to a 12 hour window. But I'm working on it! I"m still going strong on not eating out which is probably the main thing that is helping me. I ate out WAY too much. Also, I now have so much more money! Hahaha. Damn shame all the money I wasted eating out! That's money I could have used on make up or skin care! :P Anyhow, just wanted to post a little updated. -9 lbs. Woot. Also, I am completely off the abilify now. Wooooooo!

Today, I bought a Happy Planner . Hopefully it will inspire or motivate me to read more, to keep on track with my diet and eventual exercise, and I'm a big nerd and it has stickers and I'm totally a gold star kinda girl. It's also lovely. :) Goals for 2018 (not only weight/diet related):  first 100 days of the year is a challenge to NOT eat out at restaurants Lose 30 lbs before my trip to Denver in April. Start a regular exercise routine Start walking home from the bus stop (in the spring!) Travel more Read one book a month. (I miss reading!) Continue doing slam poetry, no matter how nerve wracking it is Write more Stay stable enough and on top of things enough for my doc to write me 3 month scrips I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that's where I'm at for now!

OMG. I am so sorry for being gone so long! Things have been happening here. In my last post I said I'd be counting calories but I just can't. I CAN'T. I mean I can, but I know I can't stick to it for the long term, so I am just trying to make better choices, stop eating when I'm full and I haven't weighed myself in MONTHS. Joey hid the scale, for both of our sake since we have scale dependent self esteem! So, some Non Scale Victories that I've had since my wedding last March 9th, on our 19 year anniv. 1.) My face is finally starting to look a little thinner: BEFORE: (at my wedding, with a friend, not sure why everything looks so shiny here) DURING: 2.) My body is finally following suit: BEFORE:  (Me getting my ring from my best woman at my wedding lol) DURING: (me rocking this dress, attending a burlesque show!:) 3.) My underwear that I had that were the biggest size I could find for my HUGE hips, are actually fitting n...

There are some things in my life that were once priorities that have been put on the back burner. I feel like due to this medication it's pointless to try and lose since I can't seem to. But that is ridiculous because I need to be healthy whether I'm losing or not. So I need to get on track with the gf/vegan eats and exercise in a big way. (I've eaten dairy some lately and it's ADDICTIVE. No joke.)  So starting today, gf/vegan all the way. I need groceries, but I'll just eat tons of rice if I must just because I can really FEEL a difference in my body when I eat gluten. It aggravates the living hell out of my fibro, I've been feeling so inflamed lately that even just sitting here has been burning my legs and back. I need to exercise. I KNOW that it helps my fibro. Like my pain doc says, if you don't use it, you lose it with fibro. It's a vicious cycle. You lay down because you're in pain but in the long run laying around just causes more p...

Well yesterday I had a feast. We did thanksgiving early here because joey works and my friends were available for dinner so we just had it yesterday. I made a nut loaf (Unfortunately I haven't been gluten free for a few weeks because of financial issues making it hard to afford the gf stuff), homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, candied yams, corn and pumpkin pie. Unfortunately my sister and her bf couldn't come, but I am thankful for my friends being there. I had fun. :) It. Was. Fab. Everyone loved it and we were all stuffed, sleepy and happy when it was over. Today is a new day though, my weight still hasn't budged, and I had to cancel my study appt, so I can't lower my dose until I see the doc again, but I've decided to try my hardest until I see them again. Even if I only lost 2 lbs at this point, I'd be thrilled. I am still struggling but it seems like every day is a little easier. My pain levels have been bad lately, I'm not doing my pt ver...

Some days, this is a nightmare: Thanks to those who commented on my last post. I feel like I'm getting back on track. I haven't actually been tracking my cals but haven't had much time to eat either. So it's worked out and the scale is moving in the right direction. I work the next 10 days straight! help? I'm going to bed in a few here. Going to wake up early, juice for breakfast, cook a lunch to reheat at work, and pack a snack, it'll be a long day. I woke up with cramps in both my calves last night, my fibro is kickin' lately, this rain is making me feel less than stellar, but I'm still doing my pt and I'm still doing 10x's better than I was last fall. I'm working 8 hour days. I never thought I'd get back here with all my health problems.  I had a little 'bipolar moment' last week/into this week, but made a med adjustment with my docs and am feeling better. It's so difficult to stay focused on health and eating well wh...

So I've been losing and regaining and losing the same 5 lbs for about three weeks now. It's getting pretty frustrating, I'm sure many of you have been there. How do I break this obnoxious cycle!? I had some phantom pms recently and pigged out on chocolate for about a week, augh. Work is getting easier, I'll be down to one job soon enough, that will make things far far easier. I can cook on my days off and freeze stuff. This needs to be a thing, for sure. I was off yesterday, but it was my first day off in 10 days so I just didn't want to do ANYTHING. Once I am down to one job, I'm going to go back to the gym as well. I feel pretty blah, down on myself, I need to get moving again. It's getting more difficult, but I got rid of all my 'fatter clothes' so there is no going back. :) I've relost a few more lbs. A couple more to go till I'm back at ticker weight. Hopefully this time I can keep it down and go a little below that. This post ...

So, I just wanted to let you guys know I have been talking to the woman who runs  www.yummyplants.com  and I'm going to write an article for her site. It was suggested I write about the health benefits I've experienced since switching to a plant based diet and different things about my experiences with obesity, maybe touch on childhood obesity. It will be an article style, not blog, but I just wanted to let everyone know to check out her site, it's really great and it's for anyone, not just vegans, even if you are just looking to add more healthy fruits/veggies to your diet, it's full of restaurant reviews and recipes and also has a forum so be sure to check it out. I have another job interview on Wednesday. I'm excited, I think I would do great at this place and I feel really confident.  I'll let you all know if I hear back. Today I went looking to buy a new outfit for the interview. Sadly I've decided I'm not a huge fan of what I bought. I was ...