Beyond Willpower

I've been struggling with coming here and writing this blog. I have been steadily gaining weight since last August. I had originally lost 80 lbs and I gained 50 of that back. I was miserable. I've finally gotten on track for realz and have lost my first 10 lbs. I will be adjusting my ticker to reflect what's really going on. I'm not entirely sure what happened. I mean...I ate too much. Yup. But why? What derailed me and what kept me off track? What got me back on track? How do I figure out how to make these backsliding episodes shorter and further in between? I am now at 40 lbs lost. Augh. I just keep telling myself I did it before I can do it again, and then some. I think what originally derailed me was work. I had started working almost full time hours last august-october, it eventually proved too much for me fibromyalgia wise, but during that time I was under a lot of stress and spent a lot of time at work, I didn't bring my own food and the only things...

I read a post on a weight loss forum today. It was a woman asking for help because she tracked her calories for one day, went way over and then gave up. I've been there. I know that everyone thinks there is a magic bullet and they have just yet to find it, you can tell by the way their eyes glaze over when they ask how you lost weight and you tell them eating healthy and exercising. But that just isn't it, there is no magic bullet.  People have asked me, what was 'the moment', that aha moment, where I knew that I was going to stick with it this time. Honestly, I'm not sure.  There was a day where I said I'd watch my intake, like a million other days I said I'd watch what I'd eat over the years. The only thing that was really different, was that I had admitted I was a binge eater. I watched that very first episode of ruby and realized therapy was where it was at. When I started addressing the binge eating in therapy, when I joined online support gro...