Beyond Willpower

So....it's been awhile. I'd like to explain my absence. For starters, I had mentioned going on Wellbutrin and that it helped my appetite....well, that turned out to be true to a degree. I did manage to lose about 30 lbs, very.....very....slowly.... But whatever, I was happy to have lost anything. Recently I was hospitalized, and taken off the Wellbutrin, but, put on Lithium. Now, I've been on Lithium in the past, by itself. So I figured this would be a great time to get off Abilify! So, I gained about 6 lbs between the hospital and also came out without the Wellbutrin. I was on 30 mgs of Abilify, and I'm now down to 15. I'm going off slowly, but I can see that it's helping already. I can't wait to be off of it entirely! The last time I went off Abilify (But didn't' replace it with anything else) I was stable for nine months, and in those nine months I lost 90 lbs. I went back on Abilify for the next couple of years, and I gained 130 lbs!!!! I...

So, I was talking to a girl at work today, and I realized just how far I've come from being young and stupid and full of self-hate. This girl, she's lovely. She's 22, 5'3 and weighs 120 lbs and is just so beautiful. She found out how much weight I'd lost and that I was very interested in nutrition, and she started begging, BEGGING for weight loss info. She said she wants to have a lower bmi, she wants to weigh 100 lbs, and that her legs are fatter than her bf's. She said she currently eats 400-900 calories a day. She asked if she should cut down to 300-600. She said "please help me!" I told her I would; I told her I'd bring her the number of a good therapist and advised her to get a fatter boyfriend, hehe. I was only half joking. ;)  I could not believe it. She laughed and I said, "I doubt I'm the first person who has told you that." and she said she used to 'see someone' for food issues and that if I gave her a number she...