Beyond Willpower

This is what a binge worthy day looks like: add stress stress and more stress then, just add pizza, that you didn't even have to PAY FOR minus a lunch break and there you have it!  (I'm an optician) we had this kind of day: we have 23 appointments, everyone is showing up PLUS we are taking walk ins for exams, then we're also taking outside scrips who want to buy glasses from us and it's so busy we can't even take a lunch break.  This is perfect breeding grounds for a binge, or at least, some unhealthy eating. Especially since the manager wanted to be nice, (which it was really), and buy us all pizza since we wouldn't get a lunch and this way we could eat on the run. But today was different. I knew last night today was going to be insane, it's the end of the year and everyone has waited until the last possible moment to get their glasses, tomorrow will be equally crazy I'm certain, if not more so.  So this morning I get up 15 minutes e...

So....it's been awhile. I'd like to explain my absence. For starters, I had mentioned going on Wellbutrin and that it helped my appetite....well, that turned out to be true to a degree. I did manage to lose about 30 lbs, very.....very....slowly.... But whatever, I was happy to have lost anything. Recently I was hospitalized, and taken off the Wellbutrin, but, put on Lithium. Now, I've been on Lithium in the past, by itself. So I figured this would be a great time to get off Abilify! So, I gained about 6 lbs between the hospital and also came out without the Wellbutrin. I was on 30 mgs of Abilify, and I'm now down to 15. I'm going off slowly, but I can see that it's helping already. I can't wait to be off of it entirely! The last time I went off Abilify (But didn't' replace it with anything else) I was stable for nine months, and in those nine months I lost 90 lbs. I went back on Abilify for the next couple of years, and I gained 130 lbs!!!! I...

So I feel like my struggles are finally coming to an end (for now!) Today a friend took me grocery shopping, we went to whole foods and I got lots of 'essentials' and not much 'extra' or processed stuff (like sauces, etc) I have recently slipped up due to not really having much of the food I need to eat. I've eaten dairy and gluten and my body is telling me to stop. So, I'm listening. I did buy some daiya and some tofutti 'sour cream', for tacos, and to help me get off the dairy, I bought plenty of gluten free pasta and a giant bag of rice, along with lots of salad veggies and some spinach and potatoes. So, my friend who took me grocery shopping expressed some interest in watching Forks Over Knives, the plant based way of eating documentary. It really got me excited to be eating healthy again. My goal is to lose 5 lbs by November 11th. (I'm going to a party and want to look a smidge better in my dress ;) My doc has also agreed to lower my dose ...

So, today was my first day of not tracking and eating a 99.9% whole foods diet (Up from probably 95% before) and also not using any oil at all. I'm trying to eat things that are whole, but also things that are pretty darn close to whole as well. (like tofu, or other things with 5 or less identifiable and pronounceable ingredients as smaller parts of my diet.) Today I had a protein shake for breakfast. This consisted of a cup of soy milk, 1 scoop protein powder, 1 frozen banana and 2 tbls of ground flax meal. For lunch I had brown rice with black beans, corn and onions. Later, I had a snack of a salad with green leaf lettuce, carrots, onions, broccoli, radishes and a dressing made of apple cider vinegar and thyme. For dinner, I had roasted potatoes with a tiny bit of ketchup, zucchni and peas and for dessert I am having pineapple and spinach juice. Overall it was pretty easy and I hope that eating a wider range of foods and cutting out most empty calories like bbq sauce...