Beyond Willpower

Joey and I just got back from a vacation, where I'm certain I gained at least 5 lbs (in crab), but I don't know/won't know because I'm not weighing myself. I weigh myself a week or so before going to the Dr. and that is it. It seems, aside from pigging out on vacation, that I have maintained a 25 lb loss but haven't lost any additional weight to my knowledge. Maintaining it get's a great big 'huzzah!' from me, because I haven't even been doing anything except eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full. I have managed to maintain a 25 lb loss doing that alone. So, now Joey and I are home, and on the same page about our weight loss goals. We are eating meat, but far less of it and have decided to make veggies half of our portion at dinner, a tiny bit of meat and a grain. Tonight we had a giant salad and a bit of chili and rice. It was very filling, I didn't even finish my chili, but I must say it was quite fab. Lean ground beef, ...

Today is one of those days where I'm thankful to have an all or nothing mentality. It's one of those "all" days. On days where I'm more ' nothing', like I have been for the last few months, I'm not quite so thankful for such a mentality. How many of you have this mentality? You throw yourself into getting healthy 110% and then once you start to slip you don't watch at all? What causes this? Augh. I wish I could break this pattern. Although I must say my 'all' did last 10 months, and my 'nothing' only lasted 3 months or so. I'm spending more time in the 'all' than ever before and less time in the 'nothing' than I ever have. I've gone YEARS in the 'nothing' with only a few weeks in the 'all' zone. It's such an odd head space. But, here I am, just trying to make it work to my advantage. The other day Joey and I went grocery shopping. We are all stocked up on healthy food, and I have t...

So, I'm having a hard time lately. I'm having weird cravings, I don't know if it's a pms thing or not since my lady parts are wildly unpredictable, but my boobs do seem bigger overnight so maybe it is. But I haven't been tracking and I've been a mess. This is where having this blog really comes in handy. I feel accountable to my readers, I feel like if I were to stop writing tomorrow and give up on all of this and gain back the near 80 lbs I've lost, I wouldn't only be disappointing myself.  I know there are plenty of you out there who are struggling just like me, and I assume that since that makes the struggle a little less painful for me, that knowing I'm out here struggling maybe makes it a little less painful for you too. None of us would wish obesity on anyone else I think, but, sometimes it feels nice to know that you aren't alone. I'm still working crazy days. I had an 11 day stretch this time before I had a day off. Before that ...