Skip to main content

"Sometimes you have to fight a battle more than once to win it..."

I can't tell you how many times I've embarked on a new Way of Eating and said to myself, "This feels like it'll be it, this feels like this will be the last time I have to do this." Only to fall 'off the wagon' a few months later and disappoint myself once again. If you have a weight problem, I'm sure you've been there.

I won't say this is the last time. Talk is cheap anyhow.

2008 is when all of the changes started to happen that brought me to where I currently am. I was sitting in the docs office, thinking about how I thought I weighed 275 lbs. Below is a pic of me actually at 275 lbs.


I dreaded the scale. Then I thought wow, these jeans are a little tight...When they weighed me I weighed 299 lbs. That day, everything changed. It had to. First, I was devastated and of course against my better judgement I met my bf at Quiznos and pigged out. He asked how the appt went, but I didn't want to talk about it.

Me at 299 lbs



That night I told him the bad news. I have eyes, I do own a mirror. I'm not sure how I thought I could possibly have weighed any less.

I lost a few lbs here and there but didn't accomplish much until November 2008, a few months later when my real dad, who I never knew, died of complications from diabetes. He had lost both legs and went blind before his kidneys finally failed. He was in his late 40's. I'm currently 31. I don't want to die in pieces. I kind of want to live forever. Oh well, the next best thing will do I suppose. Being a healthy spry old lady!


Anyhow, I lost 40 lbs in the few months after he died. Fear is an okay motivator, but motivation is fleeting. I slowly regained 28 of the 40 lbs lost. Then, I started watching documentaries about the food industry, obesity, health and wellness and in July 2009 I went vegetarian. My weight kind of stayed the same for a good long while, bouncing up and down. I was eating too much processed mornigstar crap and pasta. Quick foods with ingredients I usually couldn't pronounce. Then, on October 14th 2010 I had my last binge. I'll bet the lady at the Chinese buffet thinks I'm dead. In four days it will be 90 days since that binge. In November 2010 I adopted a vegan diet. I cut out gluten as it hates me, and I don't really eat deep fried food. (it's a trigger). 

Since October 19th, I have lost 29 lbs, bringing me to a total of 41 lbs lost. I broke through that 40 lb barrier.   

This is me at 299, and 259

I change my hair a lot. (it's currently dark brown, but I won't be updating pics until I lose more)

Anyhow, I don't think that people get to be morbidly obese without (most of the time) suffering from food addiction. I know I used food to celebrate, to numb, to drown out things I'd rather not feel, much like a drug addict does. Stressful day? Something fried and salty and fatty will fix it, even if only temporarily....

Like I said, talk is cheap. It's the commitment, the doing, the getting up and exercising and eating right even when I don't want to, even when the motivation has fled, that will lead to me proving to myself that this time, I will do it.  I can't say this will be it for me forever, but I have committed to staying On Plan for 365 days. So far, I'm on day 82. Commitment is there when motivation is lacking. It's what keeps you  moving in the right direction because you know there is just no other way. Basically it's a matter of "make progress, or make excuses." I'm done with excuses. 

Me in 2004, at 190 lbs, the lowest weight of my adult life and my first 'big goal' is to get back there. 

My ultimate goal is 149 lbs. Pretty much 50% of my weight. 

Comments

  1. You are lovely in all your photos, you know. :)

    We will both lose the "pretty much 50%" of our starting weights. I'm happy I have you as a friend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi great story and I look forward to hearing more. We have some similarities. I don't have fibro but I do have CFS and some other health challenges that keep me out of a consistent fitness routine.

    I also suffer from BED and I was wondering how you got to your current period of abstinence. I know there is no quick fix or easy answer but I was curious as to your process I guess. I don't really know what I'm asking, but any insight into your journey would be helpful should you choose to share it.

    All the best in your journey :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with Renee. =) simply fabulous.
    Shonnie -- Diary of an angry fat girl

    ReplyDelete
  4. Vi, I started to write a response here, but it got to be ridiculous! I've decided to dedicate a blog post to answering this question.

    Keep a look out!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ahhhh wonderful! I thought to myself that it would probably make a better blog post than a short answer and considered asking after I posted but I already felt like I asked too much lol.

    Looking forward to it :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for sharing this story of inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are so inspiring to me! Not only are you also a vegan and eat gluten free - you are succeeding. I'm going to make sure I come by your blog daily - I think it will help me out a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  8. cheryl, thanks. :D

    heather, thanks so much, I hope it does! Being a motivation is motivating! ;)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comment!

Popular posts from this blog

"Courage is the hallmark of a warrior"

Are you traveling this path alone, or with your significant other? Joey and I started on this path in earnest on October 19th 2010. He eventually went veggie, I went vegan and we've both become pretty health conscious.  He's lost about 22 lbs, I've lost almost 70 now. (He doesn't have nearly as much to lose.)  Exposure Therapy Joey has a fairly wide streak of social anxiety. He came with me to the gym the day I got my free 3 day pass earlier this week. He even came on the tour of the gym with me, which was panic inducing for him. I had butterflies, but he was shaking and miserable just sitting in the waiting area after the tour, and he was all alone.  Today I asked him to sign up for the 3day pass. I know right now he doesn't have the time or the drive to get a membership, he just wouldn't use it enough for it to matter. But I wanted him to expose himself to the idea, I think exposure therapy is good for him, in many ways.  I think it can help a lot of peop

"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."

I looked at this blog for the first time in two years the other day. I wanted to reference a post in another piece of writing. I had completely forgotten that I had revamped this site, and I like its look now. I do honestly miss writing here. So, I might try and liven the joint up a bit. Check back soon! Where am I now? I am going for a physical next Friday. It will be the first one I've had in a year and a half.  I have been gaining and losing the same 20 pounds my entire life, it seems. I have had some severe health issues in the last couple of years, like heavy shit that I'm not going to bore you with right now. Either way, my immune system decided to go bust. I have spent close to a year trying to improve it. I'm eating pretty healthy, I take vitamins now, and immune-boosting gummies, and zinc and blah blah blah. I was also suffering from chronic dehydration. Don't let yourself get there kiddie winkies. It's a bad time. I have spent the last three months or

Cookbook giveaway! (Appetite for Reduction) Enter now!

This contest is for U.S residents only: Okay, so I have a few ideas for some giveaways that I'm planning on doing over the next few months. This is the first one, the next one I'll do once I hit 100 followers cuz it's a bigger prize and I'd like as many people as possible to be able to enter and spread the word. Contest Deadline: Starts now (April 12th) Ends before midnight (eastern time) April 22nd 2011 For now, I will be giving away a copy of my favorite cookbook, Appetite for Reduction , by Isa Chandra Moskowitz  << Her website. The Prize: This book is amazing, a lot of non-vegans think that vegan cookbooks are all full of strange ingredients that are only available at health food stores, but that isn't the case with this book. It has simple recipes made with easy to find and prepare ingredients and nearly everything in the book is between 200-400 calories per serving, and the servings are a good size. I've made many fabulous dishes from this b