Beyond Willpower

I've been struggling with coming here and writing this blog. I have been steadily gaining weight since last August. I had originally lost 80 lbs and I gained 50 of that back. I was miserable. I've finally gotten on track for realz and have lost my first 10 lbs. I will be adjusting my ticker to reflect what's really going on. I'm not entirely sure what happened. I mean...I ate too much. Yup. But why? What derailed me and what kept me off track? What got me back on track? How do I figure out how to make these backsliding episodes shorter and further in between? I am now at 40 lbs lost. Augh. I just keep telling myself I did it before I can do it again, and then some. I think what originally derailed me was work. I had started working almost full time hours last august-october, it eventually proved too much for me fibromyalgia wise, but during that time I was under a lot of stress and spent a lot of time at work, I didn't bring my own food and the only things...

Some new challenges to overcome I've been doing less than stellar. I didn't lose this week, didn't gain, but didn't lose. Having too many of those weeks. While I was stalled for no real reason I could discern before, this week was all my fault. We haven't really had groceries, so eating out was happening quite a bit, even though it was relatively healthy, it's still most likely packed with sodium. I've also not been going to the gym as often as I should, honestly my pain has been flaring a bit and the fear of making it worse has kept me home.  I'm 226 lbs and I want nothing more than to hit 224, I know it's a dumb number, heh, but it'll be more than halfway out of this decade, which I am SO looking forward to. This week I plan to hit the gym today, Thursday and Saturday. I'm trying to pace myself, since going so overboard the week before last set me back with my fibromyalgia pretty badly.  I've decided to go back to physical therapy a...

Making changes I know that everyone says "You have to do it for you" regarding lots of changes we make in life, including weight loss. I also know this is an unpopular opinion to many, but I have been in a place in my life in the past with other issues, where I was just not strong enough, nor did I care ENOUGH about myself to make the necessary changes. I'm bipolar and when I was younger (around 19) and my current bf (now of 16 years) moved in, I saw how the bipolar was terrorizing him, I sought treatment, I spent 5 years trying meds that DID. NOT. WORK. and caused me tons of suffering all because I had to at least TRY. I tried numerous therapies, medications, hell I even tried to meditate. Hard to do with manic racing thoughts though. ha. Don't stop believing Anyhow, the point is, today I am here, 31, an age I never thought I'd make it to due to my bipolar. Every DAY after 30 is a gift. The fifth year of my med trials and treatments, I was taken off all ...

So, the documentary Forks Over Knives , which is about choosing a plant-based diet to prevent and reverse chronic diseases caused by the Standard American Diet, is coming out soon. I am trying to go to the opening on friday, but I'm not sure if that'll happen.  *EDIT* I'll most likley not be going to the nyc opening I will probably go to the Cleveland opening weekend, it's better for Joey's work schedule most likely, cheaper by megabus, and we have a friend that lives up there we can see it with, and her sister who lives here might come too. Good times shall be had. Anyhow, I wanted to spread the word about this film as I think it is going to be very eye opening for a lot of people and I feel like we have to educate ourselves about the benefits a healthy diet can have on our overall well being. Here's the trailer, and there is a listing of showings on the website as well.