Beyond Willpower

Today, I bought a Happy Planner . Hopefully it will inspire or motivate me to read more, to keep on track with my diet and eventual exercise, and I'm a big nerd and it has stickers and I'm totally a gold star kinda girl. It's also lovely. :) Goals for 2018 (not only weight/diet related):  first 100 days of the year is a challenge to NOT eat out at restaurants Lose 30 lbs before my trip to Denver in April. Start a regular exercise routine Start walking home from the bus stop (in the spring!) Travel more Read one book a month. (I miss reading!) Continue doing slam poetry, no matter how nerve wracking it is Write more Stay stable enough and on top of things enough for my doc to write me 3 month scrips I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that's where I'm at for now!

So, I'm giving beyond willpower a little face lift here, there is a bar along the right hand side of the screen with all your navigational doodads. I'm not really paying attention to my weight until the new year, but I'm not binging or anything, I've lost 3 lbs this week just by reducing the Abilify from 30 mgs to 15. I have a confession...Augh, this makes me really angry. Back in the day our friends would come over and open our fridge and freezer and say "Wow, you guys eat really healthy!" Well, a friend came over recently and looked in our fridge/freezer and said "Wow, you have a lot of bachelor food!" MY. GOD. That was some sort of MOMENT for me. I was SO embarassed and SO upset. So, I've realized what we need to do over the course of the next few weeks. We need to eat all the frozen crap that we have and either eat/give away whatever meat is left in the end and then go SHOPPING! And get some of THIS! It's a process. W...

So....it's been awhile. I'd like to explain my absence. For starters, I had mentioned going on Wellbutrin and that it helped my appetite....well, that turned out to be true to a degree. I did manage to lose about 30 lbs, very.....very....slowly.... But whatever, I was happy to have lost anything. Recently I was hospitalized, and taken off the Wellbutrin, but, put on Lithium. Now, I've been on Lithium in the past, by itself. So I figured this would be a great time to get off Abilify! So, I gained about 6 lbs between the hospital and also came out without the Wellbutrin. I was on 30 mgs of Abilify, and I'm now down to 15. I'm going off slowly, but I can see that it's helping already. I can't wait to be off of it entirely! The last time I went off Abilify (But didn't' replace it with anything else) I was stable for nine months, and in those nine months I lost 90 lbs. I went back on Abilify for the next couple of years, and I gained 130 lbs!!!! I...