Beyond Willpower

This is what a binge worthy day looks like: add stress stress and more stress then, just add pizza, that you didn't even have to PAY FOR minus a lunch break and there you have it!  (I'm an optician) we had this kind of day: we have 23 appointments, everyone is showing up PLUS we are taking walk ins for exams, then we're also taking outside scrips who want to buy glasses from us and it's so busy we can't even take a lunch break.  This is perfect breeding grounds for a binge, or at least, some unhealthy eating. Especially since the manager wanted to be nice, (which it was really), and buy us all pizza since we wouldn't get a lunch and this way we could eat on the run. But today was different. I knew last night today was going to be insane, it's the end of the year and everyone has waited until the last possible moment to get their glasses, tomorrow will be equally crazy I'm certain, if not more so.  So this morning I get up 15 minutes e...

So....it's been awhile. I'd like to explain my absence. For starters, I had mentioned going on Wellbutrin and that it helped my appetite....well, that turned out to be true to a degree. I did manage to lose about 30 lbs, very.....very....slowly.... But whatever, I was happy to have lost anything. Recently I was hospitalized, and taken off the Wellbutrin, but, put on Lithium. Now, I've been on Lithium in the past, by itself. So I figured this would be a great time to get off Abilify! So, I gained about 6 lbs between the hospital and also came out without the Wellbutrin. I was on 30 mgs of Abilify, and I'm now down to 15. I'm going off slowly, but I can see that it's helping already. I can't wait to be off of it entirely! The last time I went off Abilify (But didn't' replace it with anything else) I was stable for nine months, and in those nine months I lost 90 lbs. I went back on Abilify for the next couple of years, and I gained 130 lbs!!!! I...

Some days, this is a nightmare: Thanks to those who commented on my last post. I feel like I'm getting back on track. I haven't actually been tracking my cals but haven't had much time to eat either. So it's worked out and the scale is moving in the right direction. I work the next 10 days straight! help? I'm going to bed in a few here. Going to wake up early, juice for breakfast, cook a lunch to reheat at work, and pack a snack, it'll be a long day. I woke up with cramps in both my calves last night, my fibro is kickin' lately, this rain is making me feel less than stellar, but I'm still doing my pt and I'm still doing 10x's better than I was last fall. I'm working 8 hour days. I never thought I'd get back here with all my health problems.  I had a little 'bipolar moment' last week/into this week, but made a med adjustment with my docs and am feeling better. It's so difficult to stay focused on health and eating well wh...

So tonight someone recommended I watch the documentary, Fat, sick and nearly dead . It's about a guy who weighs over 300 lbs with an auto immune disease and on loads of medication and how he goes about doing a 60 day fruits/veggies juice fast. I wanted to say just a bit and leave you with an extended trailer. It. Is. Inspiring.  The issues this guy had and how he was able to heal himself with food was just such a wild ride. I loved every second of it. Some of it was sad to me, the way he interviewed people and they seemed to care so very little for themselves, and by extension, their friends and family. When they said things like, "If I die at 55 oh well." and "I'm gonna go out happy." (aka, eating junk food.)  I just can't believe the lack of respect people have for the one life they are given. I think we as a culture are sick in more ways than just the physical aspect. I consider the culture to be depressed if we care so little about our lives th...