Beyond Willpower

Well, I finally got my cupcake stuff in the mail yesterday, but I wasn't here, I was down home. I came home today and made two different styles of cupcake. I made a chocolate espresso coconut one: and a far less glamorous but equally tasty peanut butter filled and frosted one: These are both recipes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World . I did half ass it a little cuz I was out of gluten free all purpose flour, so I bought a couple of boxes of gluten free cake mix and used that instead. Still yummy! Giving some away to the neighbors, saving me from myself! Back on track tomorrow!

So, other than the fact that I'm on plan and exercising and not losing a single ounce, my week has been pretty good. You know why? Because I'm on plan and exercising. I know the weight loss will come once I reduce the abilify, but I missed my last appt, so that hasn't happened yet. I'm trying to just be positive, and relax, knowing that even without the results I so desperately want, I'm still doing what's right for my body. I've been doing yoga almost every day. I find it helps my fibro so much that I don't want to stop doing it. It's amazing the difference adding yoga along with my physical therapy has made. Anyhow, yesterday was my birthday, I meant to take some food porn pics, but even though my camera was with me most of the day I entirely forgot until my last meal. We had rice with chopped portabella mushrooms and tiny potatoes, gold, red and purple. It was drizzled with truffle oil and blueberry balsamic and it was fabulous!: I also mad...

I work at a certain plus size retailer that I'm sure most of you know which will remained unnamed, anyhow... I kind of think that working there has made my weight loss that much more difficult. I find myself feeling odd when thinner people walk in, they are terribly out of place in my store. Some are shopping for gifts, others don't know we are a plus store at all until they ask if we have 'small clothes'. No lady, we don't. I find that thinner people are out there in the world, but I forget that sometimes. I'm surrounded by what I consider to be, lovely chubettes. They are my customers and my coworkers. I see them eating fondant cakes that people bring in, or cookies or cupcakes. I've only indulged once and had a piece of chocolate cake during 'that time of the month' and was having a REALLY bad day. Yet it's no excuse. I have no one to blame but myself. It's just an observation. I feel like I had gone from immersing myself fully int...