Beyond Willpower

So tonight someone recommended I watch the documentary, Fat, sick and nearly dead . It's about a guy who weighs over 300 lbs with an auto immune disease and on loads of medication and how he goes about doing a 60 day fruits/veggies juice fast. I wanted to say just a bit and leave you with an extended trailer. It. Is. Inspiring.  The issues this guy had and how he was able to heal himself with food was just such a wild ride. I loved every second of it. Some of it was sad to me, the way he interviewed people and they seemed to care so very little for themselves, and by extension, their friends and family. When they said things like, "If I die at 55 oh well." and "I'm gonna go out happy." (aka, eating junk food.)  I just can't believe the lack of respect people have for the one life they are given. I think we as a culture are sick in more ways than just the physical aspect. I consider the culture to be depressed if we care so little about our lives th...

Okay, I've been losing and regaining and relosing the same few lbs for weeks now. Time to buckle down. I'm a very goal oriented person. I am working a 12+ day stretch coming up here and it's going to be very difficult, but I think now is the time to figure this stuff out. My goals for the next 14 days: 1.) Strict 1500 cals a day 2.) NO tortilla chips (I'm an addict) 3.) No deep fried food 4.) Make it to the gym 6 days in the next 14 for 45 mins a day. 5.) 64 oz of water a day I'm actually starting to keep a google Calender, I'm going to schedule in gym time because trying to wing it is just far too difficult with the way I work. My goal is to lose at least 5 lbs by August 10th, which is my next weigh in for the study.

I wish I had some chinese 5 spice for this, but I need to find a gluten free one and haven't yet, so for now this is what you get!: This is definitely one of my fave meals right now and I know a couple people have asked for the recipe, so FINALLY, here it is, thanks for being patient! Ingredients: 3 oz extra firm tofu 1 thin slice of red onion, chopped half seeded jalapeno handful lettuce 2 corn tortilla shells 2 tbls bbq sauce (gf/vegan) 1 tbls water 1 tbls hot sauce (I used frank's but prefer chalula) 1 tbls low sodium gf soy sauce 2 tbls tofutti sour cream 1 tsp sesame oil 2 tbls salsa .5 tsp garlic powder (Not salt as pictured!) .5 tsp crushed red pepper 'dash' of granulated onion .5 tsp cumin .5 tsp chili powder .5 tbls daiya flavor of your choice. All I had was mozzarella, but I prefer pepperjack Dir ections: Slice the tofu into thin rectangular slices chop red onion, jalapeno, and lettuce heat pan on medium heat, ...

Is it just me or is Chris Powell , the personal trainer for EMWLE,  the happiest guy alive? Reality TV I must tell you, I used to hate TV shows about weight loss. Then came Heavy and I changed my tune. EMWLE is another shining example of what people are capable of. Sure these types of shows are unrealistic. Not everyone has someone to live with them, to be accountable to, to pay for their food and buy them a home gym. Sure, not everyone has the ability to quit their job and work full time on their weight loss, exercising 5 hours a day, 6 days a week. I think all the negative talk about how unrealistic it is obscures the message though. Maybe you won't lose 250+ lbs this year, but you can start. You can put in what you can and see results. I know, I have. I had 150 lbs to lose and now have 71 lbs to go. I'd like to get to 100 lbs lost by October 19th, my one year anniversary of weight loss.  Unfortunately though, Chris does not live with me, or encourage me, but ...

So I've officially lost those last pesky 2lbs. I'm hoping I'll be down one more lb by tomorrow. I'd like to be able to post a loss for the week that is beyond getting back to where I was. I just wanted to let everyone know that as of today I have a really solid grasp on my bbq tofu taco recipe. I need to make them one more time to figure out all the measurements and then I will post it, I know some of you are waiting. It's not the healthiest of all my recipes. ha. I hadn't eaten more than a protein bar today so I had four of them, but for now on I think two with a side salad will be my go to. The recipe I will pass along will be for a serving of 2,and it'll be around 430 calories. But it's the dynamite version of them with tofutti sour cream and daiya cheese, you can leave that stuff out as it's processed crap but every so often I feel like I need to do my tacos up right. ;) They are just crackling with flavor, I LOVE them. I was feeling discoura...

So, I have been vegan now since October 2010 and was vegetarian before that. In february I had blood work done that came back with 'ok' but not great results. My fasting sugar was 111. I have been pre-diabetic for almost 10 years if not longer. I started getting tested for diabetes in the early 2000's. I believe back then the results were if you were fasting and your sugar was 125 or higher you were diabetic? I think I was 124. It slowly lowered over the years but never got below 109. It needs to be between 70-99 Until now! OH HAPPY DAY! This time my sugar was 93!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited. My mom will be happy, she worries a lot about diabetes with my weight and our family history. My cholesterol is still just a few points above where it should be. My goal is to have it down to below normal in six months. I was told I have "Virtually no cardiovascular risk" based on my blood work. Woooooo! :) Oh, and my a1c which should be from 4.3-6.1 was 5.4, so prett...

This blog post is word vomit. That's what happens when I'm away for so long, too much to say at once! So I moved my  liquid fast from Monday to today, it's going well. I've had a protein shake and some juice and water. I made fresh carrot and apple juice for lunch and for a snack at work I had an odwalla strawberry type juice. I had a dream last night, a nightmare really, that I had lost 2 lbs and someone at work said not to worry that I was looking a little pudgier than usual. I was mortified and screamed "I'VE LOST WEIGHT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"  I'm not sure how to interpret that. I mean I guess it could go a few ways, but the most likely I think is that I'm freaking out over gaining a few lbs. I've been very strict lately, doing very well, I hope to post a loss on Sunday. Also, tomorrow I'll be posting my blood work results and maybe a loss if they weigh me, I might as well post it.  It's been six months since my last bloo...

Do you like when people notice your loss? Or does it bother you? I ran into a guy I hadn't seen since I've lost weight the other day when I was feeling particularly craptastic about a 2 lb gain. When he saw me he looked shocked, and said, "You look fucking AMAZING!" Like three times, ha. That day I was feeling so down on myself, it really helped, and now I've passed the 3 days on plan point and am on day 4, which means I'm officially back on the perfectly on plan track. I know some people hate being noticed, but I must say it made me feel like people, whether they say anything or not, have to be noticing by now. On plan and at the gym: I went to the gym yesterday for 45 mins. I'm going again on Tuesday and Thursday. I'm doing a liquid fast today. Protein drinks and fresh juice. Just for today though. Next week I will try and do two days. I just need to buy more fruit and veggies. But I should be able to get by with carrots and apples for just tod...

Well, the last two days have been better. I started having a protein shake for breakfast again, cutting back down to a moderate amount of carbs and that has pretty much gotten rid of carb cravings. I'm thankful for that realization. Today I'm headed to the gym. I only went once last week because of pain, but after a horrible flare last night, it seems to have eased up, so I'm going to go today and take it easy. I'm going to go 3 times this week for 45 mins each. Same next week, and the week after that, an hour, until I can build up to 5 days a week for one  hour. I feel like things are finally getting back on track. My schedule at work is starting to ease up, I've had plenty of time to work on my book. I hired a freelance editor and she is available for me starting October 3rd so I have plenty of time to get the rewrites done. I'm never off on Sundays! I"m off today and it's going to be an awesome productive day. Later tonight Joey and I are goi...

Okay, the last few weeks have been really difficult. I had my study weigh in and for the first time since I joined the study in feb I've posted a gain. 2 lbs. I've been working like mad, but things slowed down this week, today is the first of my 'I just need three good days under my belt to get on track' days. So far, I'm rocking it. I'm trying to have lots of protein the next few days and lower carb, because I think I made a mistake these last few weeks by skipping my protein shakes for breakfast and having carbs instead. (or no breakfast) It makes me ravenous the rest of the day. So now, I'm going back to protein shakes, I had two today along with a homemade taco salad, so hopefully tomorrow will be easier and the day after that easier still. I plan to hit the gym on monday after work, My pain has been better and I'm going to double up on pt over the weekend. I'm proud at the very least though, to be able to say that I'm struggling, instead...

I've been working 6 days a week for two months now, I'm going to be cutting down to 5 days, that should REALLY help give me some time. I should only be working one job most of those days as well. I miss blogging, but I'm also working on the rewrite of my fiction book, so, it's a real time suck at the moment.

Well, this is going to be a ranty blog. I've once again been maintaining, but it's mainly because I'm not putting in the effort. You don't put in the effort, you do NOT see the results. Things have been really stressful lately and really I'm just glad I haven't gained. Work has been a little stressful, then friday I lost my wallet on the bus, my very expensive wallet full of my life (including i.d and house keys, yes, we changed the locks that night.) I've been having trouble finding a bra that fits. For awhile I was wearing a 42 DDD, then a 40F, and though the 40F fit better than the DDD's, it still seemed big in the band. I remeasured myself today to find that I SHOULD be wearing a 38G, so I bought one and am finally feeling comfy. I watched LaRhonda's episode of extreme makeover: weight loss edition tonight and it really lit a fire under my ass. It seemed like things weren't easy going but she kept  hitting those goals. What I wouldn'...