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Feeling down and struggling.

Well, I have't been updating since the blog contest ended, I did not win, and it was kind of upsetting.

Either way, I'm still here. I have gained 5 lbs. I'm shocked it wasn't more.

I feel like I'm having weird appetite issues. I get hungry but don't want to eat, then later I'm starving and I pig out on something unhealthy. This happens late, because earlier in the day even if I'm hungry physically I have no desire to eat. No idea what's going on but I'm going to have to just force myself to try and eat regular meals.

Also my mental health has been less than stellar lately. Some of it is just chemical or the weather or whatever, but another thing is just a personal issue I have yet to deal with that I need to. I have a doc appt Monday. They have increased my abilify to 30 mgs. I don't feel manic anymore, but I do still feel rather down.

My schedule is finally normal next week, I'm going to take my days off and enjoy them, then the week after I'm going to start back at the gym.

I don't feel in a head space where I can throw myself into this, so I'm going to start with small changes. The last few months have been such a struggle.


  1. I'm sorry you're having such a sad and difficult time right now. Sometimes life sucks and all we can do is hang-on, pray and wait for better times. You're beautiful. You're smart and you're strong (which, from your bio, you've proven many times.) Could you do something nice for yourself today? Maybe this blog post was a good start. Hugs and blessings, Jackie

  2. Sweetie, I was going to e-mail you this weekend because I was concerned that we hadn't heard from you in so long. Please reach out to me if you need help. I know I live far away but I'm a very good listener!


  3. I think I'm there with you right now. Keep your head up - and just keep forging ahead...

  4. Emotional eating maybe? Ugh, I know the feeling sometimes. New follower here. Will take some time to go through older posts. Looks like you've really come a long way, impressive! :)


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