What do you see in the mirror?

So I went shopping the other day. I had posted those pics in this blog post with my before and current pics. I had gone to buy some new tank tops and also picked up that cute lavender type top. I bought two size 3x tank tops along with other stuff. I tried them on before buying them. I came home and was pretty happy with them, put them away and didn't think much about it until later.

A day or so goes by and I put one on to wear around in the house with my jammie pants. Suddenly I realize that this shirt is way too big. Joey mentioned it as well, like, why did you buy new clothes that are too big? Wasn't the point that all your old clothes were too big?

What is it that I see?

Have any of you done this? I was just so confused, what was it that I saw when I looked in the mirror in the dressing room? What made me think those tanks fit me? I could have easily gotten a 2x. I even washed and dried them this week, nope, still too big. I think maybe I can't see myself being the size I am yet. I'm used to being a 4x and my mind could wrap itself around being a 3x, but not quite a 2x? My mind hasn't caught up to my body yet. I'm wondering now, if I will outgrow this mentality? I mean I'm sure I'll eventually be able to find clothes that fit and that I will believe I'm in a smaller size. But...

~I used to wear a size 26 jean~ ~Now I'm a size 20~

Will I always have this 'fat girl' mentality? A girl I knew once said "I'll always be the fat girl - no matter how thin I get. I"ll always be the one everyone expects to bring the cake." It was funny at the time, but looking back, I wonder if this is what keeps me from getting past this point. (I totally typo'd that and put "pint" which is pretty spot on if we're talking about ben and jerry's chubby hubby. ;) Ahhhh, never again!

I keep getting to ALMOST -50 lbs and then gaining it back. Here I am at a 49 lb loss and freaking out, terrified I am going to backslide. When I lost 70 lbs in 2004, the -50 lb mark is kind of where I started to have identity issues. You start to wonder who you are if you aren't the fat girl that frat boys throw apples at.

I think I'll be okay this time though. I don't think I have any idea who I am beyond this point and every lb I lose from here on out will just be a discovery. It's like peeling away layers of an onion. Only it's fat. ;)

This helps put things in perspective, since the mirror tells LIES! haha.

Have any of you who have lost any significant weight gone through an identity crisis like this? What was it like? How are you overcoming/have overcome this?

"Courage is the hallmark of a warrior"

Are you traveling this path alone, or with your significant other? Joey and I started on this path in earnest on October 19th 2010. He eventually went veggie, I went vegan and we've both become pretty health conscious. He's lost about 22 lbs, I've lost almost 70 now. (He doesn't have nearly as much to lose.) Exposure Therapy Joey has a fairly wide streak of social anxiety. He came with me to the gym the day I got my free 3 day pass earlier this week. He even came on the tour of the gym with me, which was panic inducing for him. I had butterflies, but he was shaking and miserable just sitting in the waiting area after the tour, and he was all alone. Today I asked him to sign up for the 3day pass. I know right now he doesn't have the time or the drive to get a membership, he just wouldn't use it enough for it to matter. But I wanted him to expose himself to the idea, I think exposure therapy is good for him, in many ways. I think it can help a lot of peop...

"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."

I looked at this blog for the first time in two years the other day. I wanted to reference a post in another piece of writing. I had completely forgotten that I had revamped this site, and I like its look now. I do honestly miss writing here. So, I might try and liven the joint up a bit. Check back soon! Where am I now? I am going for a physical next Friday. It will be the first one I've had in a year and a half. I have been gaining and losing the same 20 pounds my entire life, it seems. I have had some severe health issues in the last couple of years, like heavy shit that I'm not going to bore you with right now. Either way, my immune system decided to go bust. I have spent close to a year trying to improve it. I'm eating pretty healthy, I take vitamins now, and immune-boosting gummies, and zinc and blah blah blah. I was also suffering from chronic dehydration. Don't let yourself get there kiddie winkies. It's a bad time. I have spent the last three months or ...

Cookbook giveaway! (Appetite for Reduction) Enter now!

This contest is for U.S residents only: Okay, so I have a few ideas for some giveaways that I'm planning on doing over the next few months. This is the first one, the next one I'll do once I hit 100 followers cuz it's a bigger prize and I'd like as many people as possible to be able to enter and spread the word. Contest Deadline: Starts now (April 12th) Ends before midnight (eastern time) April 22nd 2011 For now, I will be giving away a copy of my favorite cookbook, Appetite for Reduction , by Isa Chandra Moskowitz << Her website. The Prize: This book is amazing, a lot of non-vegans think that vegan cookbooks are all full of strange ingredients that are only available at health food stores, but that isn't the case with this book. It has simple recipes made with easy to find and prepare ingredients and nearly everything in the book is between 200-400 calories per serving, and the servings are a good size. I've made many fabulous dishes from this b...

Vagabonds MercantileFebruary 24, 2011 at 4:41 PM
Wow what a difference between those pants! Awesome
AnonymousFebruary 24, 2011 at 6:33 PM
As I mentioned on your Spark blog, I'm only starting to wear clothes in my actual size, not a size or two larger.

It has really helped me to buy clothes in the next size or two down. I don't buy just anything, I buy things I really love. I keep them in a separate pile in my closet for convenience sake, but I see them every time I get clothing out. As I see them over time, they feel like they are really mine. As I continue losing weight, I start wearing them! It also helps budget-wise, since I don't have to buy all new things at once. I find sales and good prices.

I know that some can't deal with too-small clothing, but this isn't old stuff that I outgrew. This is spectacular new stuff. It works for me.

Check out the difference in your pants! Congratulations!!

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