Beyond Willpower

So I have spent roughly the last year and a half or more trying to lose weight by eating intuitively. I'm not really great at it. I have lost 30 lbs in a year and a half, it's moving at such a snails pace that I have finally decided that the only thing that works for me is tracking, and even though in my head I know I won't possibly do it forever, I have to go back to it. So, Joey and I are tracking again, so far so good. It's only been a few days, but it at least hasn't been a struggle. I figure we will stay where we are calorie wise and after about a month and hopefully some loss (not being too focused on the scale though, it's been my downfall in the past) we can reduce our calories a little bit at a time. I know this is the right thing to do, but I feel kind of down that I did so poorly with intuitive eating. Then again I probably wouldn't be fat if I were good at that sort of thing. :P Here's to being "On Plan." :D Also, my job has f...

So, our lowering our cholesterol plan   is going well. So far we've implemented everything except two things on that list. (Wine and exercise, still waiting to hear back if we can use the gym at work!). I won't know about my cholesterol until February. BUT, in jan of this year it wasn't that bad. I checked online and nothing was more than 10 points above or below where it needed to be other than my triglycerides which were a little bit higher. I'm cooking at home WAY more often and not eating out so much. I bought a slow cooker so I can make bulk food easier and take it to work. The slow cooker just came yesterday. So that will start tomorrow! In other news, I bought a light therapy box to help my winter depression. Normally by this time I'm feeling down and I'm doing just fine so hopefully this continues to work out! Anyhow, will continue to keep you updated!

So joey had a dr appt yesterday, he has gained a good bit of weight since his appt last year, and he had blood work done and his doc called today to let him know his cholesterol is high and he needs a 'strict diet'. (no talk of statins yet, but they are the devil so we're trying to avoid that for both of us, my cholesterol is high as well.) His dad has had a heart attack so I hate it, but I'm worrying. Heart healthy changes we plan to make: 1.) Lean meats only 2.) Oatmeal for breakfast 3.) Start taking pharmaceutical grade fish oil 4.) Start taking cinnamon supplements (lowers blood sugar AND cholesterol) 5.) Drinking a glass of wine a day (Good for raising good cholesterol) 6.) Switching our unsweetened black brewed iced tea to unsweetened green brewed iced tea. 7.) Increasing fiber (half of every meal should be fruits/veggies) 8.) Juicing carrot/apple/orange  juice once a day. (high fiber/lowering cholesterol recipe) 9.) Exercise to lower bad and raise goo...

Joey and I just got back from a vacation, where I'm certain I gained at least 5 lbs (in crab), but I don't know/won't know because I'm not weighing myself. I weigh myself a week or so before going to the Dr. and that is it. It seems, aside from pigging out on vacation, that I have maintained a 25 lb loss but haven't lost any additional weight to my knowledge. Maintaining it get's a great big 'huzzah!' from me, because I haven't even been doing anything except eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full. I have managed to maintain a 25 lb loss doing that alone. So, now Joey and I are home, and on the same page about our weight loss goals. We are eating meat, but far less of it and have decided to make veggies half of our portion at dinner, a tiny bit of meat and a grain. Tonight we had a giant salad and a bit of chili and rice. It was very filling, I didn't even finish my chili, but I must say it was quite fab. Lean ground beef, ...

I'm an optician. I work with two other opticians at my job and we are all on and off again concerned with our health and diet. We never seem to ALL THREE be concerned at the exact same time. That seems to finally have changed! Right now, all three of us are concerned. So, I came up with a plan. We have a mini fridge at work and a microwave. I also bought a toaster oven for us today. We are all SICK of eating out and ordering in for lunch. I went to Aldi's (local cheap grocery) and bought 45$ worth of groceries. I got some lean and fit lunch meat, cheese, pb and j fixins, salad fixins and some healthy snacks, like fruit and wheat crackers.  We are all going to chip in each week and take turns getting the groceries. I figure once we are started it should only cost 30$ a week to keep us replenished and stocked on stuff. That's only 10$ per person, per week. We are paying more than that for certain buying junk food and eating out every day! So this will save money AND be a ...

OMG. I am so sorry for being gone so long! Things have been happening here. In my last post I said I'd be counting calories but I just can't. I CAN'T. I mean I can, but I know I can't stick to it for the long term, so I am just trying to make better choices, stop eating when I'm full and I haven't weighed myself in MONTHS. Joey hid the scale, for both of our sake since we have scale dependent self esteem! So, some Non Scale Victories that I've had since my wedding last March 9th, on our 19 year anniv. 1.) My face is finally starting to look a little thinner: BEFORE: (at my wedding, with a friend, not sure why everything looks so shiny here) DURING: 2.) My body is finally following suit: BEFORE:  (Me getting my ring from my best woman at my wedding lol) DURING: (me rocking this dress, attending a burlesque show!:) 3.) My underwear that I had that were the biggest size I could find for my HUGE hips, are actually fitting n...

I've decided after much reflection, to go back to tracking calories. I know that it works if I stick to it, I just can't stop when I get to where I want to be. I have to track then, for maintenance. I'm honestly pretty frustrated by this, and I can't even go back to my dieting 'home', sparkpeople, because I feel they are being influenced by....well, by money. They posted this whole blog thing about how diet drinks REALLY aren't bad for you and we've all been duped! All of this based on some study that seemed to be research conducted by the american beverage institute or something with a big banner across the top for this institute (aka lobby?) and I just feel like they've sold out in a big way. It used to make me mad how they would put banner ads for pizza hut across the top of the page, but this? It's too much. Also, I know it's been a bit since I posted. I've thought about it often, about what I could say, but we've not really m...

Well I haven't been around lately, just busy and tired at the same time, that combo makes for far less yoga and blogging. Luckily I'm in such a healthy eating routine that I havne't been knocked from it. Last night I tried a new recipe I found online. It was for black bean burgers:   [Photographs: J. Kenji Lopez-Alt] One of the things about black bean burgers is that they are notoriously mushy and they can even fall apart at times. Over at Serious Eats  you can find the recipe and read the article that goes along with it, explaining the trial and error, the fucking SCIENCE that went into creating this amazing 'meaty' textured black bean burger. I highly suggest you make a batch. It's a little more work than usual for such a thing but the reward is totally worth it in the end. Joey loved these burgers so much he said we need to make them when he has friends over on Sunday we are also trying to eat healthier. He even had one for lunch today ...

Blood work. My cholesterol is high, my triglycerides are ridiculous, my sugar (A1C) is 6.1, all as of last October. I have an appointment for my yearly physical on January 26th. I've been doing all I can to improve these numbers. I'm eating between 7-13 servings of fruits and veggies daily. More on days I'm off and can stay home and munch, and less on days I work. I've decided to start prepacking baggiges of fruits, veggies, and nuts, to snack on while I'm at work so that I can get as many servings in a day as I can. I wasn't going to weigh myself for 3 months, but then realized I need to weigh myself NOW so that if what I'm doing isn't working I can adjust it somehow. I've lost 5 lbs so far on this particular Way Of Eating, and I've lost a total of 25 since my high weight. Woot! Nothin' to sneeze at! I feel like my body is so sick, and I am doing what I can to make it well again. That means eating ALL the fruits and veggies, whole grai...

Size acceptance. Dieting. Weight loss...Can they go hand in hand? Today I shared this photo on facebook: Melissa Mccarthy has lost some weight recently, citing that she wants to be a good mom and be around for her kids. So, I guess that could be summed up by saying health reasons. I felt the need when I shared the above pic, to add a comment, about how I believe she's lost weight, and it's hard to walk that line between size acceptance and weight loss. I once suggested my blog to a friend and she said she didn't want to read it because she believed in size acceptance. This was kind of annoying, because so do I. At the same time, I have diabetes, non alcoholic fatty liver disease, high cholesterol, and I'm teetering on the edge of high blood pressure. Basically I'm dying, I get that we're all dying, I'm just dying a little faster than I should be. Given my family history, (dad died at age 48 I believe, didn't even see 50, before he was l...

DDP Yoga, "Not your momas yoga" Joey and I were laying in bed the other day talking about exercise and yoga and such. He had suggested I give DDP yoga a try. I was feeling pretty down on myself because of my physical limitations. "My stomach is too big for yoga." I said "When I lose 50 lbs I'll try again" I said. I know that yoga helps my fibromyalgia. I used to do it a lot and I had actually gotten pretty good at it. Now though, I'm way bigger than I was the last time I was trying this stuff and it all just seemed terribly hopeless.  So when Joey was at work the other day, right before he came home, I went out and fired up the DDP Yoga video that we have. If you aren't familiar with DDP , or you need to be inspired, here ya go, you're welcome: Anyhow, I decided to give it a try. There was more 'on the floor' stuff and pretzeley stuff than I could handle.  So it was a little less this:  ...

We got a new cookbook ! Eat like you give a fuck is right! This book is amazing! We've already tried 4 different recipes and talk about impressed! So far I've made the spiced chickpea wraps, the biscuit and lentil gravy (which is my absolute fave so far!), Joey made the sriracha cauliflower and peanut dipping sauce and today I made minestrone! Pics below! *Clearly there are pics of the food and plenty of them! Prepping: The delicious finished product!   I'm going to be honest here and say this isn't a 30 minutes or less cookbook (nor does it make any claims as such), and it does take a little work, and you do make everything from scratch. Although I would be sorely disappointed if I bought a cookbook and it said "Now take the chipotle mayo out of your fridge and slap it on that sammie."  BUT to be fair I absolutely love cooking, that means I love all the prep and 'extra' (the meat of the meal if you will) work. So, there...