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Vacation aftermath and moving forward

Joey and I just got back from a vacation, where I'm certain I gained at least 5 lbs (in crab), but I don't know/won't know because I'm not weighing myself. I weigh myself a week or so before going to the Dr. and that is it. It seems, aside from pigging out on vacation, that I have maintained a 25 lb loss but haven't lost any additional weight to my knowledge.

Maintaining it get's a great big 'huzzah!' from me, because I haven't even been doing anything except eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full. I have managed to maintain a 25 lb loss doing that alone.

So, now Joey and I are home, and on the same page about our weight loss goals. We are eating meat, but far less of it and have decided to make veggies half of our portion at dinner, a tiny bit of meat and a grain. Tonight we had a giant salad and a bit of chili and rice. It was very filling, I didn't even finish my chili, but I must say it was quite fab. Lean ground beef, and sprinkled a bit of cheese and sour cream on it. I'm not going to do 'low fat' or 'fat free' anything, aside from leaner cuts of meat. I hate how that crap tastes and I'd rather just have a little of the real thing than a bunch of the fat free junk. So far the salad and chili was all we had to eat today, I imagine we'll have something light later, some fruit maybe, I'll be making kale chips tonight and maybe make some kale and pineapple juice for us.

I did a lot of walking (for me) on vacation, walking the boardwalk and the pier at the beach, on my feet a lot for mini golf, etc. I was in a lot of pain from it all, I went to bed kind of early most nights of vacation to escape the pain, but today I feel pretty good and realize I need to get back into yoga, I know it is something that helps me. #yogaismypainpill!



Anyhow, I'll be taking lunch to work all week this week, for one, it'll be cheaper than eating out and two, we're not eating out this week. (financial reasons, aka, vaca took all our monies) and also because I don't want to eat crap at work, I'm better off eating homemade food and just heat it at work.

Today we went grocery shopping. We spent around 150$ and got a full cart of food, everything healthy! TO HEALTH! I'm in a really good place mentally right now, and I think that is what I needed. I just NEEDED some time to come to terms with this fat body, and I have. I have made peace with it. In the past my weight loss efforts were highly amped, addictive feeling, obsession filled endeavors to get as much weight off as fast as possible because I hated the body I was in. Now,  I could be this weight for the rest of my life and it would be okay (but probably a shorter life). I want this for health, and I want this for Joey's health too. I'm not going back to the Dr until jan, and I am not weighing myself until I go for my yearly physical. I'm not counting calories, I'm just going to do what I can while staying sane about it.

I'm so OVER the dieting mentality, the scale dependent self esteem, all of it. When I can fit into smaller clothes, I'll go shopping and that is how I will know I'm on the right track. Honestly while weight loss would be a good indication of my health and how I"m doing, it's not the most important thing, if I'm eating healthier and moving more, that is what matters most. Weight loss, even if only a modest amount, is a bonus, it's not the end all be all goal. I just want to be healthier.

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