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The new normal

I work at a certain plus size retailer that I'm sure most of you know which will remained unnamed, anyhow...

I kind of think that working there has made my weight loss that much more difficult. I find myself feeling odd when thinner people walk in, they are terribly out of place in my store. Some are shopping for gifts, others don't know we are a plus store at all until they ask if we have 'small clothes'. No lady, we don't.

I find that thinner people are out there in the world, but I forget that sometimes. I'm surrounded by what I consider to be, lovely chubettes. They are my customers and my coworkers. I see them eating fondant cakes that people bring in, or cookies or cupcakes. I've only indulged once and had a piece of chocolate cake during 'that time of the month' and was having a REALLY bad day. Yet it's no excuse. I have no one to blame but myself. It's just an observation.

I feel like I had gone from immersing myself fully into this world of health and fitness, to....fondant cakes and chubby fashion. I think it's making my weight loss more difficult, it makes it easier to eat something I shouldn't because hell, everyone around me is. Everyone around me is big, and I don't think less of them, why can't I just be happy with myself?

Because it's unhealthy, that's why. I seem to have forgotten this. I seem to have forgotten that diabetes runs on both sides of my family, that it killed my dad in pieces. I've forgotten how good it feels to be where I am now in comparison to where I once was. I need to remember, more than anything, I need to want to remember.

Chips and cupcakes and fondant and jokes about being fat, clothes that I wish I didn't have to wear (even if they are fashionable ;) surround me at work and it has become the new normal for me, this is not what I want my normal to be. I want to be healthy, starting today I'm going to remember why that is and get on with the process of getting to where I want to be, instead of just dealing with what I seem willing to settle for.


  1. I think you are making a great deal of sense. Perhaps it is time to look for another job (don't quit until you're already employed elsewhere). I don't think I would want to work somewhere that undermines my health in any way. (And I need to listen to myself here- I am in a very sedentary job, and need to look at that!) Best of luck to you!

  2. patricia, I do love my job, I wouldn't leave just yet, but I do have to make myself more accountable.

    I managed to NOT eat the chocolate covered mini donuts someone brought in to work today. yay.

  3. Sorry I'm reading this late ~ too much moving stuff going on!

    It sounds like you have quite the challenge at that particular job. I can tell you, though, that every office job I've ever had always had unhealthy food around. It's not just limited to LB. I just pretend it's poisoned and I don't touch it. Being vegan helps too, that eliminates most of the unhealthy food.

    I do think we need to love ourselves at our high weight as much as our low, but the fact is, I just feel a lot better at a lower weight. Vanity doesn't even have to do with it. It's way easier to get through a normal day carrying less weight. My breathing is better, my fibro has disappeared with my vegan nutrition, and my spine injury definitely responds well as I lose weight and put less load on it.

    Perhaps if you ever get too small for their clothing, it can be time to look for another job. For now, some strategies for coping with temptation are a good start.


  4. renee: I'll ALWAYS be able to fit into their bras!!!! LOL

    I know office jobs are big culprits for that stuff too, but I feel like I am in a culture of obesity at work.

  5. Liked your post. I agree though. I am an ED nurse, and I see so many lifestyle related illnesses, stroke, heart attack, diabetes, and when you take a history so many have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Don't get me wrong I have weight issues, I have now gone Vegan and lost 10 kg but lately my weight has stabilised, I still need to lose about 20 kg as I am only 5ft in height. I run all day at work, and just joined the gym at work. It is about your health and as you get older it really does affect us if we eat badly. Nice to have treats of course, but so many people I see are quite grossly overweight, and it is sad they are not all older. Many younger men come in with heart problems. And they smoke and drink as well. It's a struggle and some people still eat badly and are slim, doesn't seem fair, but doesn't mean they won't get sick. Good luck with your job and your weight journey. It isn't easy I know


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