Skip to main content

A difficult year....

I wish I hadn't had such a difficult year. I wish I hadn't abandoned this blog and myself in the process.

As you can see from my ticker I've gained all my weight back.

Well, it's time to start over.

Today is day two of a juice/raw food cleanse that I plan to do for 3 days. (Basically while I"m off work). Joey bought me some tupperware, and I plan to spend today and tomorrow bulk cooking. I'm going to freeze a TON of stuff to take to work for lunch. Lunches at work are costing me about 100$ per month and countless pounds. When I worked part time it was so easy. But work I don't bring food, so I eat pizza, then I come home and I'm just exhausted and I want to eat and not have to clean up a mess, so I eat out, probably something fried and unhealthy.

Well, as of yesterday, that is stopping. My fibro is really getting to me with this weather and all the gluten and dairy I'm eating. Hence the cleanse, I just need all that crap out of my system. So far so good. No better day to start than nye in my opinion. A new start for a new year.

I feel like I've let my readers down. I just disappeared. It was so hard to struggle publicly.

But here I am. Completely willing to struggle publicly. We all have been there I'm sure. I've gained and lost these same 80 lbs a few times now. I know that tracking works, but I also know I don't want to track forever. (obviously) as I always stop and gain weight back. So I need to find a way to eat more intuitively, naturally. So I can do it forever. If it doesn't work I'll go back to tracking.

I plan to try to maybe at some point go back to therapy, this time for eating issues. For now if you have any recommendations for books to read on the issue of overeating I"d appreciate it if you'd leave the title in my comment section.


  1. I don't have any books to recommend (unfortunately, because I would like to read them, too), but I wanted to say that it's great that you started blogging again. I'm in a similar position, only I gained back the weight that I lost in 2011 and haven't managed to lose them again. Usually I start over on a new blog, too afraid to admit that I've failed. This year I'm changing that. I'll be publicly failing right there with you - assuming, of course, that either of us fails, which we won't!

    I have the same issues with work as you do. I bring my lunch, but it's never enough, and then I end up starving and swing by fast food on the way home. It's expensive and is causing me to gain weight. But we can do it! This will be our year! :)

  2. Katie, I found, 'the end of overeating'. I'm going to read that next!

  3. Also, thanks so much for your support. Starting a new blog crossed my mind but I miss this place. :D

  4. I'm sorry that you've had a set-back. My mom has Fibro too and it plays such a huge part of her weight gains and losses. Bulk cooking is a great way to avoid take-out. Sounds like you've got a good plan :)

    My local library has this book that I thought interesting about binge eating:
    Food: The Good Girl's Drug: How to Stop Using Food to Control Your Feelings by Sunny Sea Gold.

    Please don't feel like you are letting your readers down. This blog is for you... it's your outlet and it can be whatever you want it to be. We're just along for the ride.

  5. Falling behind does not matter, it is only a temporary setback. The only time that we lose is when we stop trying. I make all of my lunches, buying from a cafeteria or local restaurant is incredibly expensive. One book is The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite.

  6. I know cutting gluten and dairy has helped me physically, so much I haven't cheated once in 2 1/2 years. It also pushed me to go vegan after being a vegetarian. That's not to say I don't still have 'challenges' (I was also dx'd w/ Fibro in June), but the way I felt compared to the way I FEEL is like night and day.

    It even helped me with my compulsive overeating. A lot of my food addiction was an addiction to wheat/gluten and dairy. I still have problems w/ binging too but not as badly as I did. My cravings are pretty nonexistent.

    Good's nice to see you blogging again :)


Post a Comment

Thanks for your comment!

Popular posts from this blog

How Intuitive eating (did not) work for me

So I have spent roughly the last year and a half or more trying to lose weight by eating intuitively. I'm not really great at it. I have lost 30 lbs in a year and a half, it's moving at such a snails pace that I have finally decided that the only thing that works for me is tracking, and even though in my head I know I won't possibly do it forever, I have to go back to it.

So, Joey and I are tracking again, so far so good. It's only been a few days, but it at least hasn't been a struggle. I figure we will stay where we are calorie wise and after about a month and hopefully some loss (not being too focused on the scale though, it's been my downfall in the past) we can reduce our calories a little bit at a time.

I know this is the right thing to do, but I feel kind of down that I did so poorly with intuitive eating. Then again I probably wouldn't be fat if I were good at that sort of thing. :P Here's to being "On Plan." :D

Also, my job has finall…

I Was a Fat Bride

Our wedding pictures are the first thing you see when you walk into our home. 

Joey and I have been together for over 22 years. We've both gained and lost a lot of weight over the course of our relationship. Then we regained, and re-lost, you know how it goes. We got married on our 19 year anniversary, which is in March.  We had decided to get married just four months prior. So after what our friends teased was a 'brief 19 year courtship", we decided to just go ahead and do it. I know there are a million blogs and articles about losing weight for your wedding. This is not one of them. I had four months to lose weight. I don't really even remember what was going on, but I had NO desire to diet or attempt to lose weight and so I just...didn't. Joey lost a bit of weight so he could wear that fancy vest. I appreciate the effort, he looked handsome in it. :)

We thought we would never get married. We didn't see the point, we kind of still don't, and luckily, be…

Flying While Fat

"I'm scared of flying while fat," I told my friends when I was planning a trip from Pittsburgh to Denver in October of 2016. It was to be my first time on a plane, and I had heard all about Kevin Smith's problems with Southwest Airlines. There is the obvious fear of my ample hips spreading into the seat next to me, and some poor unsuspecting fellow passenger being assaulted by my fat spilling onto them. The fear of being told to buy a second seat, that I probably couldn't comfortably afford was real. Should I buy a second seat to begin with? I did decide to spring for the slightly larger seats in the front on a Frontier Airlines flight.

The anxiety leading up to the trip was palpable. I scoured the internet for stories about people's experiences of flying while fat. People who felt as if they had been crammed into a sardine can, pictures of squished thighs and disgusted and disgruntled fellow passengers, offended by the amount of space their fat fellow passen…