Beyond Willpower

So yesterday was good. I stayed on plan. I felt reinvigorated in regards to my weight loss journey. I had alfredo with baked tofu, let me tell you how excited I am to be able to use my OVEN!!! I am SO excited. I don't have to fry and saute everything now out of necessity! That should help a lot. Anyhow, off topic,  last night I decided to put editing my nano book from last year on the back burner (not entirely, I still plan to work on it as a reward for getting my 1666 word count in every day on the new nano book) but yes, I'm going to participate in National Novel Writing Month.  There is a midnight kick off tonight at eat n' park so I'm going up there for the write in. Wooooo! :) Okay, so, back on topic, today is day two of being totally on plan. Once I pass day three or so it usually gets easier. Off topic again, I see I'm getting a lot of traffic from gothise, how are you guys coming from there getting here? I looked but didn't see any links anywhere..

So I feel like my struggles are finally coming to an end (for now!) Today a friend took me grocery shopping, we went to whole foods and I got lots of 'essentials' and not much 'extra' or processed stuff (like sauces, etc) I have recently slipped up due to not really having much of the food I need to eat. I've eaten dairy and gluten and my body is telling me to stop. So, I'm listening. I did buy some daiya and some tofutti 'sour cream', for tacos, and to help me get off the dairy, I bought plenty of gluten free pasta and a giant bag of rice, along with lots of salad veggies and some spinach and potatoes. So, my friend who took me grocery shopping expressed some interest in watching Forks Over Knives, the plant based way of eating documentary. It really got me excited to be eating healthy again. My goal is to lose 5 lbs by November 11th. (I'm going to a party and want to look a smidge better in my dress ;) My doc has also agreed to lower my dose

So, there has been some ruckus around here lately. I was cooking for a friend recently and the carbon monoxide detector went off a bit after our meal. It was a reading of 77 in the hallway and 256 in the kitchen. (It should be 0 at all times.) So, I called the fire department. They said it was coming from the kitchen and might be the stove. I was told to open all the windows and that the gas man would be coming. Let me just say, I rent. I've lived in this place, with this stove from surely 1970 (it was that awful goldenrod color) for 13 years. The gas man said it wasn't the stove, but that the gas line needed to be replaced anyhow. It may have been the carbon build up on my pots and pans burning. The landlord's son in law came to replace it and saw what awful shape the stove was in. It's always been crooked and the oil in a pan will all fall to one side, and the feet on it were so rusted there was nothing that could be done to even it out. The oven never worked righ

Well, I haven't tracked the last few days but tried really hard to eat intuitively, but I already know from experience that won't work. So, here I am, back on  www.sparkpeople.com  logging everything. It's for the best really. I made a new friend recently, and she told me last night that she read my blog. She told me how motivational it was, and how I'm going through stuff and still trying so she has to at least give it a shot. I hear those sorts of comments often and they never get old. Not in an ego type of way, but in a, "I have to keep pushing, there are people out there counting on me." Type of way. I don't want to be another blogger that can't keep the weight off and let's their blog sit around and collect dust leaving their readers wondering -what ever happened to that girl? Anyhow, enough of that. I started wellbutrin a little over a week ago, I had to take some time off work then cut my hours because of the negative impact it was

Well, this has been an interesting year. One year ago today I believe, I gave up eating at the Chinese buffet. Joey and I talked about it and decided to do the same thing with mad mex. If I can cut out the buffet where I nearly LIVED then I can cut out mad mex. This year has been full of ups and downs. If anyone tells you weight loss is easy (like a friend of mine has recently said. eyeroll.) They are wrong. It's hard work, and sometimes, there are set backs. Today marks my one year anniversary of deciding to change my life. yet my October Spark goal calender sits here empty. How sad. For the last two months the docs have been tweaking my meds. Work has become more difficult and I stepped down as manager and cut my hours so I can be less stressed, and therefore, less insane. In the last two months, since the med tweaking and the craziness started, I've gained 10 lbs. TEN POUNDS. AUGH! The frustration makes me not want to leave the house. It's downright tragic. I worked

Well, I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of being confident that I'm back on track! Yesterday I came home and wanted some of Joey's yummy food he was making, but I"d eaten what I had considered my last meal (although a bit earlier in the day than usual) and decided against eating again, I'm proud of myself. :) Today I get off early cuz it's Sunday, so I'll come home and work on the finishing touches of my first couple chapters and send it off for editing and I think I'll even jump on the bike tonight afterwards. :) I'm sad that I forgot to enter the vegan month of food blogging thingy. :( Sadness!

So yesterday was another good day. I've figured out a few things with work to help me out. #1 I plan to take two 15 min breaks and eat both times instead of eating once during a 30 min break.  This way by the time I get home I'm not so hungry. Today I'm bringing potatoes to work, they are yummy and cute. Tiny purple potatoes! :) I'm having a pain flare, I think it's the sudden drop in temperatures and all the rain.. So I've decided to work out at home until it passes, but I am going to work out. Monday I think we're taking a nice walk to the movies. There and back is 3 miles. Half of it u p a HUGE hill. Ha. I'll be doing my recumbent again too. I've been working a lot on the book I'm writing, polishing it up before sending the first few chapters out to be edited tomorrow night. I'm super excited to be so close here to the home stretch. I started this book last November, during National Novel Writing Month, but couldn't finish because